Throat Knife | Y.Jw

| 21 |

It was quite dark outside once I had walked back into the red house in the evening. I was actually pretty sure most people were asleep when I returned and I even doubted if Jungwon remembered agreeing with me that neither of us were going to bed without the other in the room tonight.

My suspicion about everyone being asleep seemed to be just about right when I walked down through the room hallway. It was completely silent except for when I passed Sunoo and Lin's room. Then I could hear small mutters and giggles from the room. Those two really were adorable around the other. You would not believe it. It could not help but put a small smile on my face.

I quietly walked down to the end of the hallway and slowly opened the door to the room Jungwon and I shared. There was a faint light from his bedside lamp that shone out in the room. Meanwhile Jungwon was restlessly pacing around the room, quietly looking to be biting down on the nail on his thumb.

"So what is it?" I muttered and closed the door behind me. It was first now he seemed to realize I had entered the room.

"I don't want you to be on night shift with Kitae. Day shift is alright, night shift is not. Especially not when I'm gonna be gone for a few days," he shook his head at me, making me immediately frown at him.

"I thought this was going to be something where we both apologized for yelling at each other the other day," I stated and he simply shook his head.

"I'm over that, past it," he waved it off before softly pushing me down onto my bed, making me quietly sit on the edge as he continued pacing around, "I just don't want you to have night shifts with Kitae. Try and see if you can get it switched to day shifts with Soobin hyung."

"Jungwon... first of, why in the world do you care? Secondly, I do not think I'm that popular with the higher powers in this base right now so I doubt they'll let me change," I reminded him making him wave it off.

"Tell them I said something to you about it or whatever," he stated with a small frown on his face.

"Jungwon! Why do you care?" I exclaimed at him with a small laugh making him abruptly stop his pacing and just look at me as if I was stupid.

"You promised you'll be the first one to come that I didn't have to see go," he stated making me frown at him.

"Look I doubt Kitae have murdered everyone else. He seemed quite calm and kind when I went to speak with him," I shook my head at him and Jungwon just sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his hair.

"That's not... look..." he sighed deeply at me, "Kitae is some horny ass teenager or whatever is wrong with him. He'll most likely try and grope you if not quite literally ra-"

"Enough," I called out making Jungwon stop in his tracks, "could he really do that?"

"Yes," Jungwon nodded, "ask Sunoo hyung. Lin noona had night shifts with Kitae once and he-"

"I don't need to know," I interrupted and shook my head at him, "so what I'm getting from this is that you're actually worried about me having those night shifts."

"Obviously," Jungwon nodded at me.

"And you're worried because you won't be here some of the days?" I continued and he nodded at me, "But... Jungwon... I thought you hated me. Why would you be worried about me?"

"I don't hate you," he sighed in disappointment, "that's exactly what my general problem is! I don't hate you, but your brothers will kill me before I even get to actually adm-"

"I don't see my brothers in here," I calmly stated making Jungwon stop in his tracks and just look at me before a few knocks were on the door and Heeseung poked his head in.

"Sorry to interrupt night chatting. But we're driving off in ten minutes Jungwon," Heeseung informed and Jungwon just nodded at Heeseung, who quickly closed the door to the room again.

"I'm sorry but I gotta do something before I go. Feel free to stop me," Jungwon excused and sat down beside me, making me just give him a puzzled look, "and I seriously mean it. Stop me."

"Jungwon I don't think I under-" I started before he quickly moved and cut me off.

Instead of another word leaving my lips I instead had another pair of lips on mine. A feeling I never thought I would experience. I always thought when the time came I wouldn't kiss the person kissing me, but this... there was something about Jungwon that made me lean into his touch when one of his hands landed on my waist. It just seemed so natural for me to reply to his kiss and reach my hand up to cup his cheek.

However, the kiss was short lived when Jungwon pulled his lips away from mine, for a second just staring down at my lips before he reached over and wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"I'm so sorry, and thank you," he muttered making me hesitantly wrap my arms around him and softly pat his back, "I'm so sorry for doing this and just going away. But thank you for kissing me back."

"Jungwon I-" I started and he immediately shook his head against my shoulder.

"Don't say anything. It makes it harder for me, and I know that is selfish. But I need to go on this mission knowing I have done what I wished to do in case anything happens to me or to you while I'm gone. Just know... when I get back I intend for us to figure out something," Jungwon quickly muttered making me just pat his back once again, "I'm sorry... but I have to go."

I slowly let go of Jungwon and let him slip off my bed and over to grab his bag. Something in me wanted to ask him to stay, but I knew I couldn't do that. Instead I just quietly sat and watched him grab his bag as my fingers softly placed themselves on my lips, still thinking about the way he so naturally kissed me.

Not once did Jungwon look back at me before he walked out of the door with his bag over his shoulder and closed the door behind him. In a way that actually hurt. That he could just leave just like that in this very moment, but in a way I also understood him.

Once I heard the front door open and close downstairs I quickly got up and walked over to the window in the room. Down near the gates I could see Jungwon and Heeseung walk over to Beomgyu, who was just patiently waiting for them.

For just a short moment, right before he got into the car, I could swear I saw Jungwon turn around and look up towards the window I stood in. I didn't move, I just stood still before turning on my heel and walking back to my bed.

So now I had about two days to sort out my feelings. I thought I had some frenemy feelings towards him, but why would I then kiss him back and lean into his touch like that?