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Stefani

It's not everyday you come across a woman with brunette hair and icy blue eyes that can look sexy as hell wrapped up in black silk sheets and a fox mink fur throw blanket in dimmed lighting.

I blew out the candles before getting up slowly. I really don't want to but I have to respect time now and time will respect me in the long run..

Jesus Christ kent, how much of a dumbass can you be?

I quickly threw on my pants and slipped in my white air forces and a denim jacket as I tied my braids back and put on my reading glasses.. not everyone knows I can't see too well with them off- which should be no one's business. As long as I have contacts, I'm fine...

I'll only be out briefly to retrieve my car and I'll be joining Lillian soon enough. I've had a pretty exhausting day myself. I don't see a need for her to accompany me over something this small.

That kiss on the other hand... very unexpected. She didn't even fight me that time nor the first time.

I recognized the Bentley parked outside to be my dad's personal driver and I made myself comfortable in the passenger seat.

"Ms. Edwards will not be accompanying us tonight?" The old man looked at me starting small talk.

"Look at who you're talking to," I plainly said and he chuckled as he backed out my driveway.

I may have lied about a loft- maybe not. This is leaning towards the country side of New York on a hill, but the view of the city is much more appealing to me here; it's quiet, there are more condominiums built here, the hedges practically are barrier walls that are taller than the house itself and provides more privacy, a lot of grass, not that many trees. The air is cleaner here... i personally like this way more than any other place in New York.

It didn't take long for us to arrive at the airport and I saw the cargo shipment my vehicle should be in.

"Thank you," I warmly smiled as I got out the car and the driver tipped his hat as he drove off.

I took a heavy sigh as I saw my breath go up as smoke in the night sky.. it really has been a while since the last time I smoked.

Is this me growing up?

I looked up at the skies as I sat on the hood of my car and tucked my hands into my denim jacket.

I couldn't help it.

Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks as I tucking my head down for warmth. Not a single star was visible due to the electrical lights and the damn pollution... but that's not the reason why I was crying.

I miss my mom.

What the hell is there to be thankful for or to be festive about over the holidays knowing your mom killed herself because she wasn't happy? Or that you weren't good enough to be the reason why she chose to continue living?

Faint voices were from afar but I paid no mind. They'll just pass by- hopefully minding their business.

Damn this place. Just damn it all. The healing process is shit. All these years later and I still can't get over the fact that she's gone. Why the fuck would anyone want to get over something like this?

She's my mom for fuck sake.

Practically the best thing that's ever happened to me..

She was the only one I-

"Knew it," Rachel's touch on my shoulder brought me back into reality causing me to blink away my tears.

"Drink up," she hands me a bottle of Bacardi and a red plastic cup..

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