073 - Fickle Feelings, Flawed People

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*** Ahri pov ***

I am all smiles, my heart fluttering as I bop my head to the side. We step into the empty apartment but I can feel it just drain all of my energy - it is still the same old empty place with someone that is probably not going to be here long.

She then asks me, "Want something to drink?"

"Can we talk?" I ask her.

She nods, "Sure sweety."

She walks over to the table and I drop my phone to the side, turning it off. Crossing my arms over the counter as she stands near the kettle with both of her hands spread out as if she is going to be an open book.

"About dad..."

"I guess we were going to have to talk about him," she gives me a pained smile.

"Him?" I give a nervous chuckle, "You two don't love each other anymore do you?"

She shakes her head, "He... has been working and working. I mean I expected it but he said that it would be best that the two of us stopped doing us and he gets to do something with someone that can actually follow him around."

I then scoff, "And leave another child in a home?"

"Ahri-"

I shake my head, "How long?"

"Ever since last Christmas."

"You mean when he said he would show up but never did? Gave us a call and said we would see him during New Year and he has been quiet only answering texts?" I clench my fists and then shake my head at the situation.

"We thought it would be best if you didn't-"

"Figure it out?" I ask with a scoff, lowering my gaze to my hands, "Mom I am not stupid... but yeah, it's fine right? It is just okay to leave me with this dream that I get to see my dad one day only to be lied to."

She doesn't even look a little bit upset, she had plenty of time to distance herself emotionally... why am I even surprised that she has no expression? No reaction. She doesn't care about him and I am just supposed to just feel the same way about my own dad.

My thoughts retreat to all those messages promises to be with me... thinking that giving me money would be enough to make up for the lack of a father.

"Ahri... are you okay?"

"Am I?" I ask rhetorically. Whatever. Whatever... whatever. I shake my head, "It doesn't just stop there, right?"

"What do you mean?" she asks, not even a bit upset... no compassion for how I would feel. Maybe I am selfish but how aren't we thinking about me?

"You are just going to leave again?"

"Ahri-"

"Two days? A week if I am lucky but you are going to be busy with work so you can't really talk to me right?" there it is, that look of guilt over her face... "I can't believe it."

"I am doing my best for us to survive. This place is-"

"I don't care about my home, mom. I care about the people..." I stop myself, curling my lip as I don't even fight my tears, "I could live in a shack for all I care, I just want YOU. I want someone in this house."

She stays quiet.

"Every night feels like I am dying because I know you wouldn't even know if something happened to me unless Evelynn told you..."

"I do care about you Ahri!" she snaps at me.

"Then make an effort to show it!"

"I do everything I do because it is for you!"

"Then why do I feel so alone!" she flinches, watching me with wide eyes, "I am too scared to go to sleep because I am scared I never get to say goodbye. Scared one day you leave through that door and the people coming to greet me with - I am sorry to share some bad news!"

"But I guess I had to figure it out for myself that I won't even be able to see my own Dad now either, huh? Somethings aren't meant to be, I get that... but why lie to me, Mom?!"

"I didn't want to hurt you."

I am shunned, shocked. I can't help but laugh, laugh out of years of frustration only to hear... I didn't want to hurt you.

I rush to my room, I don't even want to go there but I don't want to look at her in the face. I don't want to hear anything she has to say because it will always boil down to the same damned thing.

She won't believe me, she won't understand what it is doing to me.

And I am crying, screaming crying into my pillow. Wishing that I could just show her that it is killing me.

*** Evelynn POV ***

Jake gives me a weak smile, "You should check up on Ahri..."

"Why?" I ask with an arched brow, "Don't tell me you got a little crush on someone you've known as a little sister."

"Her mother is going to give her the very bad news," he states, "She needs to leave for a month-long audit and asked me to take care of her-"

"Take me to that house right fucking now," I command him.

"I can't," he gives me a pained smile, "If you showed up, it would make it harder for Ahri to hear everything because I know you hate her family more than you hate Quinton-"

"Don't say that name!" I yell at him.

"Sorry."

I take a deep breath before shaking my head, "Sorry. You should know better," angry all over again for Ahri's sake, "What now?"

"She will be home for a few days and then she needs to go again," he sighs, "She wanted me to sign papers to become her legal Guardian because... she feels like she isn't helping Ahri in any way."

"She is giving up on her?" I look at him in disbelief.

He nods, "I think so. She was talking about-"

"Don't dare tell me about how much she loves Ahri. They are killing her," I lift myself out of the chair and rush to my room to get clothes and run to Ahri if I have to.

I gather my things quickly, then only to see him stand in my doorway, "Move, Jake!"

"I am going to drive you to her place."

I nod slowly, "Thanks."

"It isn't like I don't know how it feels."

"Let's just save her before she finally gives up."




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