117 - Goodbye

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That night is a fresh memory that burned into my head, something that I loved doing and wished never ended despite me feeling like absolute shit now. We are all at the venue holding the competitions and we just learned that we are very early.

The problem isn't the fact that we are early - the problem is that not everyone is here.

I am looking at my phone with a furrowed brow, hoping, wishing that Akali will answer one of the ten calls going her way but nothing is coming up. I then sigh frustrated as I head over to Michelle who is hovering around in one of the prep rooms.

"Where the fuck is that girl?" she snaps at me.

"Calm down," I furrow my brow at her, "I don't know where she is."

"I didn't do all of this shit for her to just not show up," she rubs her eyes out, "Sorry. I am just angry for no reason - have you reached her at all?"

"No."

She then twists her lips to the side, "Tell the rest, she might not show up at all if her family is being pricks about it."

"I can't-"

She then looks at me with an angry stare, "You can't let her go? What if you go to her to stop her from leaving the people killing her behind? Let her go, (Y/N)."

"It can't be that!"

She shakes her head, "She wouldn't miss this for the world. Unless someone is actively making sure she doesn't get to experience the world - use your head kid otherwise she would be ready to make a name for herself out there."

"I am leaving-"

She then stops me, "And throw away everything I tried to do for you-"

"Why did you even do it then!? To use it against me!?"

"Because I fucking wanted to!" her angry expression instantly shifts to strain, she grasps at the clothing over her chest, "Fuck off already."

"Michelle-"

She then glares at me, "If you don't fucking go after her right now, I am going to be pissed off at you."

My legs are frozen, and I don't even know what I really want to do, "I... what about you?"

She scoffs, "Now you care about me?" she then asks me, "Why do you even care?" then with a strained giggle, "Why aren't you running already? Because you don't know what matters more to you?"

"Because I don't want to lose anyone."

She shakes her head, "Look at me, I am dying here and you want to choose between me and her? I know you mean well, I know she matters to you - if this is about making sure she is fine... go. But don't keep her here if she doesn't want to be here anymore."

"Tell the others. Please."

She nods, "If I don't die first, sure."

"Don't die."

"Fuck you," she laughs at me.

***   ***   ***

I am running down the street, further than I thought my legs would be able to carry me. Faster than I knew I was capable of running all with the thought that I could get to her before something happens.

I follow the usual path straight towards the temple, my chest feels like it is about to burst. I am at the end of my wit and I have nothing more to give - but I just need to see her. I just need to see Akali and just make sure she is fine.

"(Y/N)?" I stop in place to see Akali waiting at a different place than I expected.

"Why aren't you-"

She stops me, "I knew you'd come running, that is why I was waiting for someone to come find me, I knew it would have been you."

I take a deep breath, "What happened?"

She gives me a weak smile, "I hate it here," she looks towards the temple in the distance, "I hate it when they are so close, and no matter how hard I try they are always right behind me - they won't let me do what I want to do so... I am leaving."

She then quickly adds with a pained expression, "Please don't try to stop me, it will just make it harder to say goodbye."

I silently walk over to her, she lowers her gaze not able to look me in the eye. I give her a tight hug that she nuzzles into it, she bursts into tears clutching at my clothes as she whimpers into my chest.

"I really don't know what to do. There is nothing... nothing I- I..."

Interrupting her, "You don't really have a choice."

She stays silently, only nodding as she wipes her face against my chest, "Sorry. I am just staining your clothes with my crying," she then pulls away, practically forcing herself away from me.

"Where will you go?"

She stops me, "You aren't going to stop me?"

"I don't want you to suffer."

"I don't want to leave you," she counters, "I love you but I don't have a choice anymore... I just... am happy that you got me to stay to learn to love all of you before it came down to this."

"I didn't do anything," I shake my head, "I just wish it were different."

She sighs with a chuckle, "Thanks... I always hoped that you would be able to help me, but I shouldn't have expected that from you," then taking a deep breathe, "I don't know where I am going but... I'll come back for all of you."

I feel stupid, letting her explain everything and how she plans on doing anything as I am the idiot listening to Michelle's stupid fucking advice about letting her go. Watching someone disappear from my life that I love dearly.

I hate you, Michelle.

I hate that you are doing this to me, that you convinced me that this is better. Even if it is better, I just want to blame someone right now...

...and that is your own fault. 

You wanted to make yourself the villain.

She then asks, "Will you tell them I said goodbye."

"I..."

"Please?"

I only nod, "Really going to leave me to carry the bad news, huh?" I chuckle, reaching under my shirt as I yank the trinket from my neck and walk over to her, "Just... come back, will you?"

She looks at the little guitar puck that she bought with Kai'Sa. She grabs it, holding it close to her chest as she gives me one final smile, "I love you, I will be back."

She steps forward to give me a kiss with her tear-stained lips, I wipe some of the tears from her face with my sleeve. She walks away from me as she grabs her bags and walks to the other way. She looks over her shoulder one last time with a pained stare.

I hover in place, expecting her to turn back. I wanted to run after her but I couldn't find it in myself to make her go through all of that again.


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