Fields of Gold; Daniel Ricciardo

Guilt

When I wake up I realize Daniel isn't here anymore. Michael is sitting next to my bed with his hand on my arm.
"Where is Daniel?" I ask and my voice sounds like it's not mine.
"The team needed him to do FP2. He missed the first practice, but they couldn't let him skip the second one as well. He didn't want to go, but we made him." Michael answers and he picks up a cup of water and puts the straw between my lips so I can drink something.
"I'm so sorry for your loss Sky. I wish there was something I could do." I can tell he has been crying.

"You were there for me when I needed somebody. If it wasn't for you I might still be on that floor bleeding out. So thank you for getting me here." I try to console him, but I don't know if my words help much.
"Are you in pain, can I get you anything?" He asks me.
"I'm not in pain right now, it's just a bit sore." I look at the IV bag and besides fluids I see a bag of painkillers on it, so that's covered.
"Had anybody spoken to a doctor yet, do they know what went wrong? Why did I lose our baby?" I start to cry again and Michael sits on the bed besides me.

"All I know is they had to take you to the OR because you were bleeding heavily. They had to remove all the tissue and they've send it to the lab for some tests. So they don't know if there's a reason for what happened or that it was just bad luck. They did say it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy, so everything else looked good." He explains while stroking my hair consoling me.

"It's all my fault, my body should have kept our baby safe and I failed. I broke Daniels heart, he was so happy and all I could think of was, what if things go wrong. Well here you have it, it couldn't have ended more wrong than this." The guilt and grief tears me up inside.

"It's nobody's fault. These things happen very often. There's nothing anybody could have done to prevent it. Stop blaming yourself." He tries to make me change my mind, but all I can think of is how badly I have failed Daniel.
The door opens and there a doctor coming in. I vaguely remember him from when I came in.
"Miss Hayes, I'm glad you are awake and I'm very sorry for your loss. How are you feeling?"

"I'm not in any pain right now. Can you tell my why I lost my baby? What did I do wrong?" I ask him, the tears still pouring over my face.
"There's nothing you've done wrong. We haven't gotten the test results back, they should be here in a couple of days. But I promise you, it's not something you've done." He checks the IV bags and then asks me if he can examine me for a second.
I nod and he removes the covers.
"Do you want me to leave?" Michael asks me and I shake my head.

When the doctor puts pressure on my belly I clench my jaw, because that is very sensitive.
"We were able to remove all the tissue and stop the bleeding. You will be bleeding a bit for some time. Could be days or maybe longer, but that's normal. It will be more like a period, but that's because your uterus has to heal." He explains while he checks in between my legs to see how much blood I've lost after surgery.
"You will need to take it easy for a bit. But if it stays like this you can be discharged tomorrow. We just want to monitor you over night." He covers me back up, "so far everything looks normal. You'll need to heal now, physically, but also mentally. If you need to talk to somebody let us know."
I shake my head, "no thanks I just want to go home."

"Tomorrow, if everything stays like this. Just rest for now." He shakes my hand and then leaves the room.
"See he told you the same thing. It's not your fault. Please stop blaming yourself." Michael begs me.
"I can't. I've hurt Daniel and this will effect his weekend. Wait what time is it?" I ask him.
"It's almost 5, he should be getting in the car now. Why? You want to watch?" He asks me

"Yeah I have to see he doesn't do anything reckless. Where's my phone?" I look around to find my phone, but Michael hands it over to me. "I got it for you when I quickly got changed at the hotel. I asked the hotel manager if they could clean the bathroom for you and Daniel. You don't need to see how it looked like in there."
I close my eyes for a second pushing back the tears that try to find their way out.
"Thanks. I'm so sorry you had to see that. Are you ok?" I feel horrible for him, but he has definitely saved me.