Fields of Gold; Daniel Ricciardo

Darkness

I look at the door where Daniel practically ran out. He's acting so strange right now, but on the other hand we had only amazing things happen to us so far, so I don't know how he copes with something like this.
I'll just give him some space for now. Hopefully he will turn to me if he needs me. He's been such a rock for me to lean on and I hope he knows I can be that for him as well.

For now I just let it be and I take my phone to write something to put online. I have no idea what I'm going to write, but I'm sure the words will come once I start. This will be the hardest thing I've ever had to share with anybody. Let alone, probably tons of people across the world.
I never thought I had to do this, I was just Skylar from a small town in the UK, living my life. And now I'm Daniel Ricciardos girlfriend, people I've never seen find my life interesting and want to know everything.

I guess I knew this when me and Daniel got together, but I couldn't really comprehend what it would really mean.
While I open my Instagram, somebody knocks on the door. When I open it I see Kelly and Charlotte standing there with a basket filled with all sorts of things.
"Hey girls aren't you supposed to be in the paddock right now?" I ask them stepping aside to let them in.
"No Max and Charles don't need us there. We thought you could use the company more. But if you're not up for it just tell us, we'll leave you alone."

"No please come in, it's really sweet of you." I sit down on the couch carefully, because I'm still sore and when I make a sudden movement I get cramps again.
"We brought you a care basket, it has some nice stuff for the shower and bodylotion and things like that. Oh and chocolate. Loads of it." Charlotte explains and I can't help but to smile.
"I love it thank you. I was just about to post something online so people can stop wondering what happened. But please sit down, I'm still thinking about what to write."

"Oh that must be so difficult. How are you feeling today?" Kelly asks me while putting the basket away.
"It's hard. It's heartbreaking, but we talked to the doctor this morning before I got to go home and he explained that our baby had some things going on which were not compatible with life. He or she would either die during pregnancy or during birth. So that kinda makes it, not easier, but it does give me some comfort I guess. I don't know, my body knew that something was wrong, or at least that's how I feel. Even though I wish I had a healthy baby growing inside me. Knowing how poorly it was, I guess this is for the best, but it's still something I wish never had to happen."
I try to explain, but I don't know if I succeeded.

"I understand. Knowing you lost a healthy baby might feel different than knowing you lost a baby you were going to lose sooner or later. Then maybe it's better that it is now and not later. I don't want to sound harsh though." I can see Kelly is struggling finding the right words.

"No you're right. Knowing that this baby had no chance of surviving does make it a bit different. Although I have definitely not cried my last tear over it though. I mean yesterday I was still pregnant and then suddenly I'm not anymore and the things we were looking forward to, just vanished. It's going to take time, but I know we will get through it. Although Daniel is really struggling I think."

"Cry as much as you need to. With us or whomever. This won't get better overnight. And Daniel, well he's always the happy chap, but he's also extremely sensitive, don't let him push you away, because he will want to handle it himself. At least that's what Max said when I told him about it." Kelly sits down and puts her arm around me.
"We're here for you, whenever you need us."

"Thanks both of you. It means so much to me. I think I know what I want to post online. Do you mind if I take care of that right now?"
They shake their heads and I take out my phone.
Opening Instagram I take a deep breath before opening a new post. I decide to put the ultrasound picture with it.