Fields of Gold; Daniel Ricciardo

Fix you.

I feels like I'm melting into him and we are no longer two people.
I've never seen him fall apart like this, his body is shaking against mine from all the agony he's letting out finally.

I'm his life line right now and he is mine. Feeling his body against mine, so much tension is leaving me. It's like a building is being lifted of my shoulders. I sit on his legs and wrap my legs around him. I don't think I'll ever let him go. We're clinging on to each other for dear life while we both cry until our bodies hurt.

After a while he slowly starts to calm down, but he is still holding on to me as if he's afraid I will get up and leave.
I cup his face and force him to look at me.
"I love you, you're my world, you have my heart, but please talk to me."
He leans his forehead against mine and takes some deep shaky breaths.

"When Michael called me to say he took you to the hospital I felt like my world was falling apart. Seeing him in that room, covered in your blood. I thought you were gone and I would never see you again." The pain is clearly visible on his face. I don't say anything, I just listen.

"You looked so fragile in that bed and when you woke up and we both knew our baby was gone. I saw you shatter in front of my eyes." He swallows the lump in his throat, before he continues talking.

"I felt such an incredible guilt wash over me. I wasn't there when your world came falling apart. My career came before you, even though you are the most important part of my life." His hands are gently caressing my back and I have my fingers buried in his messy dark curls.

"Seeing you so heartbroken it just made me feel I had to be strong and that I couldn't let you see my grief. I realize now how stupid that was, I was in so much pain that it hurt me even more seeing you like that, knowing that you probably felt even worse than me and I couldn't be there for you as I should have been.
I'm so sorry that I've let you down and caused you even more pain." His eyes meet mine and I see his love for me, but also his guilt.

"You didn't let me down. I never blamed you for not being there right away. You were there when I woke up and that was exactly when I needed you the most." I stroke his face and his rough stubbles on his cheeks. He looks like he hasn't shaved in a few days.

"I felt like I let you down, by not being able to keep our little one safe in my body. I failed you." I explain to him.

He frantically shakes his head. "I never blamed you, it was just bad luck."
"I know, I realized that when the doctor told us our baby had many problems and that it had nothing to do with me. But still I knew how much you wanted this and I couldn't make it happen." I thought my tears would all be dried up, but they start flowing again.

"But even though I'm sad and grieving, doesn't mean you can't as well. We both lost our little one and we both grieve. But we are in this together, so we should share our pain. We can't go through this alone. Neither of us. You can lean on me. Just as much as I know I can lean on you." I can tell he is finally really letting me in again and I just feel so relieved.

"I know, I should have known from the start. I'm sorry I've caused you even more pain. I love you so much and when you actually walked towards the door it hit me hard what I was doing. I can't bare the thought of you actually walking away from me. But I know I almost ruined everything."

I plunge my lips on his and I kinda take him off guard, he didn't see this coming that's for sure. But I just need to feel his lips on mine. To feel our connection, our love for each other.
After his first hesitation, he kisses me back and we are drowning in each other. We put every bit of love we have for each other in our kiss. I open my mouth a bit to let his tongue in and he finds mine.
I never want to let go of him ever again, but eventually we do have to come up for air.