Fields of Gold; Daniel Ricciardo

Crazy Christmas

Michael hits the brakes and stops right in front of the clinic door. There's already lights burning inside, so I guess the doctor is waiting for us.
Daniel jumps out of the car and helps me out. He picks me up bridal style so I don't have to walk. I still feel some blood trickling down my thigh. It's not as much as it was with my first miscarriage, but I know bleeding isn't good. Also the tension in my abdomen doesn't feel right.

I know this is it. We're going to lose peanut and I don't think I'll ever want to try again. Losing two babies is too much. I can't go through the hope and happiness again, only to have it destroyed once more.
The doctor is in the hall waiting for us, so we can come straight through.
"What happened exactly?" She asks me, but I've turned into myself. I barely notice anything that is happening around me.

"She got pushed and fell, I didn't see what happened, but I found her half on her side on the ground. When I picked her up she could feel she was bleeding." Daniel explains as I'm just staring seeing nothing.
"Ok come on let's see what's going on. I'll do a quick ultrasound first."
We get into the same room as we were about 2 weeks ago, then it was all happy and amazing, now I feel like we're on our way to the gallows.

Daniel puts me on the bed and because I'm pretty unresponsive he pulls my dress up so the doctor can start the scan.
"Alright Skylar, let's see what that little one is doing in there." She puts the gel on me again and then the probe.
I lock myself inside my head, I don't want to hear what she has to say. I can't hear it again.
"There we have your baby, little one seems alright. See those legs kicking around?"

In the corner of my eye I see Daniel dropping on the chair next to the bed, but I don't register the doctors words. I guess she just told him it's over and his legs gave in.
She turns on the sound of the machine and subconsciously I hear the sound of the heartbeat filling the room. But I just don't know what it means. In my head I'm already thinking about what will happen now, will I need surgery or how will peanut come out?

Daniel is shaking my shoulder, he has a smile on his face. How can he be smiling right now?
"Baby, our peanut is fine, she's moving around. It all looks good."
I look at him, I see him, but I don't at the same time. I hear his words, but they don't mean anything.
"I would like to do a pelvic exam to see where the blood is coming from, but not when she's in this state. She first has to be aware of what's going on and I need her consent to do the exam." The doctor tells Daniel and he turns to me again.

"Skylar? Baby please look at me." I look at him, blinking a few times, it helps to see him more clearly.
"Listen Sky, do you hear me?" He is looking into my eyes to see if I really hear him.
He touches my cheek, wiping my tears that are still flowing.
"Skylar, listen. You have to listen. Do you hear me?"

I realize I do, his words are actually reaching me so I nod slowly. "I hear you." My voice is soft and my throat hurts from crying, but I am getting more aware of what's happing around me.
"Good, now listen. Do you hear that sound?"
The 'kadoenk, kadoenk, kadoenk' fills my ears. For the first time since we came in I turn my head to look at the screen.
There I see peanut, bouncing around, only then I realize that's our baby, still alive. Still inside me.

"Peanut is ok?" I ask looking back at Daniel still very confused.
"Yes, peanut is ok, but the doctor wants to check you to see where the blood is coming from."
Slowly it clicks in my head, peanut is ok. He's not dead, I can hear the heartbeat and I see him moving.

"Peanut is ok!" I start sobbing again, this time out of happiness.
"Skylar, I would like to do a pelvic exam, but that means I'll have to touch you and I need you to say you are ok with that." The doctor explains and I nod.
"Alright yeah, that's ok."