Twisted and mangled like disregarded wrappings strewn across a bare floor, this guilt mangels and twists me into shape, devoid of the woman I was before, ash skin as bleak and lifeless as a floating body, once walked with pinker complexion, now swirls face down, lost to all, a forlorn reflection, hindsight, it's torturous memory, taunts with constant projection, of the once possible, now unobtainable choices, of a wiser, direction, glances haunted with past's entity, possesses all the answers, but none of the keys, lost in times forgotten, to open seas, guilt is a burden, mine's deserved, forgiveness a virtue, or so I've heard. Settled on Thomas's bed, my gaze fixated upon the flooring, a thousand emotions bulldoze over me, what havoc is brings me, of things done and abstained from doing, of words spoken and failed to be, of emotions destroyed, in this cruel moment, I remain still, fearful of moving, staring upon my own personal devil, I witness the things I did, rising over me from deep inside, a detection of guilt follows, suffering depression indeed, it deprives you of smiles, it pretends to be cordial, but it's only known greed, silently recalling my own act, I become vain in settling the inner trauma. Clouded vision lethargically absorbs my surroundings, realizing the strange familiarity between Thomas's room and ours, gentle rubs vainly attempt to tame the violent tremble of my entangled hands, the only movement I've experienced since Thomas entrusted Brenda to remain with me in his room while he returned to Newt's and my room, it's been peculiarly silent since I was removed from the scene, the occasional argument and fearful murmurs muffled by the thick walls have become Thomas's room, Brenda doesn't dare speak a word, respecting I wished to be left to my spiralling mind. But that didn't prevent her from cleaning the gash on my temple whilst expressing what a miracle it was for me to remain conscious or not have a concussion, of course her brief chatter withered upon my expressionless features and unmoving gaze, frowning as I didn't even wince to her touching my sensitive skin, the door to the room opens and closes soundlessly, the only indication I have to someone entering is the soft pad of footsteps advancing towards me, I remain still, not minding for whoever entered, I already know it's Thomas, the familiarity of his reassuring prescence is indication enough. He kneels down before me, attempting to meet my gaze, although my orbs appear to link with his, my attention is far beyond him "Brenda, could you give me and Rose a moment?", without much hesitation, Brenda straightens herself up, abandoning the bed as she strolls towards the door, leaving without a sound, he inhales and exhales deeply, frowning at my unchanged expression "a nightmare, that's what caused it", you're wrong, Thomas, "he says he doesn't have that much recollection of what happend, so, despite your sensitivity, I need you to tell me what happened", he places his hands upon my own. It's only then that I notice the dark bruises forming on my wrists from struggling against Newt, my hands still quiver from the fright, Thomas sighs, respecting I wasn't prepared to reveal to him "well, for now you're sleeping here with me tonight", he rises to his feet as I remain in my frozen state "it was Newt's idea, one I'm supportive of, considering what just happened", "it's all my fault", my voice sounds strange from the lack of speaking, but it's direct, he returns to his previous position "what is, Rose?", I finally meet his gaze "everything". His brows tuck together in confusion, I notice how his forehead crinkles fairly "I tried to heal him with my ability, even after he told me not to", this only furthers his perplexity "but if you healed him, doesn't that mean he should be better? Or you should be sick?", I shake my head "it didn't work, something stopped my ability from entering his body, it somehow zapped me away from him, almost like the Flare has enough sense to protect itself from my healing", Thomas only frowns to this "and because of my meddling, Newt experienced an aggressive episode". He rubs my hands, taciturnly persuading me to continue "he attacked me, he lost control and tried getting me out of the way, flung me into the sink, which is why I have a gash of my temple" I bluntly state, not revealing much detail, understanding I wouldn't be able to speak of the other events that occurred "well, it's going away now, and so should the pain", it's not my head that's bothering me, "I don't want to sleep here, Thomas", Thomas sighs, raking a stressful hand through his locks "he's certainly feeling guilty after what happened. And I don't want to leave him alone with that guilt, it can destroy you" I inform him, throughout this entire conversation, my features remain still, almost lifeless "he doesn't want you to be near him right now, just give him some space for the night, I already asked Gally stay with him just in case", his reassurance is ineffective on me "just please stay here, Rose, I won't watch you get hurt again", this is the only time a grin appears upon my lips, but it's brittle and brief "okay", with that he straightens himself and strolls over to the light. "I'll sleep on the floor that way you can have the bed to yourself" he offers "I'm okay with sharing" I refuse his generosity "okay", with that he deactivates the light, I recline upon the mattress, waiting for him, he hesitantly climbs in, shifting to provide me my respected space, he twists his head so that his gaze lands upon me "I know it's hard, no one deserves to go through what you have, but I know for a fact you can get through it", he kindly places a thin blanket upon my frame "because you're the strongest of us all, Rose".
Author's info- Hello, reader! BOOM! Another chapter, so, I am kinda conflicted on this one, not because I hate the way I wrote it, no. But because I feel like it's too early for Newt to be rampaging about right now, but honestly, I think I did pretty okay, although I do explain how Newt went wild for a few moments in this chapter, the next chapter will be more specific! And everything will unravel then because parallels!! I hope you guys are loving the book as much as I am writing it! Although it is torture to have to watch over and over how some of these terrible scenes play out, I love writing them, despite the fact Newt is slowly turning into a Crank amd I honestly have conflicted feelings about that. But don't worry, I have everything figures out. Mostly. Just give me some support right now because the ending is gonna break not only my poor Rose, but you guys as well, and maybe me too. But it's all a means to an end. You'll understand when we get there. Well, I gotta go! The next chaptwr won't write itself and I honeslty missed writing these little moments with Thomas and Rose! Would you like to see her bond with anyone else? Let me know! Later reader!
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The Extirpated
FanfictionWICKED promised it was the end. No more tests. No more lies. But SHE knows well the statement could never be true. The Scorch was only the beginning. The group will witness horrors that will dominate over the towering Maze Walls. They will endure so...
