Chapter 88

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"If you don't come up with an answer, then I will do whatever fuck I want." 


Those words kept on echoing in my head even when I reached home. I wrapped my coat more tightly around me. I was practically naked beneath it. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I walked to the nearest bus stop. The scars I thought were healed, but his harsh words scraped them, making them bleed again. With slumped shoulders, I walked to the front door. I took a deep breath before wiping my eyes and drying my face completely. My eyes furrowed looking at the lights, which were on. If no one is home, then why are the lights on? But my question was answered in the very next second. 


"Mama," I heard Neil calling my name loudly with a crying face. He came tuning towards me, and his small soft body wrapped itself around my leg. He was still clutching my leg. 


"Baby, what are you doing here?" I said while bending down and picking him up in my arms. 


"I miss you," he said in his baggy voice, still crying. He hid his face in my neck while wrapping his small arms around my neck. I saw my mom appear from the living room. I asked her, with my eyebrows raised, why he was crying like that. 


"He was sleeping, and suddenly he woke up asking for you," mom explained while looking at me. 


"So your brother just dropped us here half an hour ago," I explained further. She looked tired and sleepy. 


"Mom, you go and rest; I will take him to my room," I said while securing my arms around Neil's small frame. 


"No, you must be hungry. I will filter something for you," she said, moving her head in denial. 


"I ate at work. You go and sleep," I lied with a faint smile on my face. She sighed, looking at us, and with a small nod, she went to her room. I took him to my room and laid him down on the bed. 


"Mom will be back in five minutes," I said while looking at him lovingly. 


"Come soon," he said in his baby voice while clinching the hem of my coat. I gave him a small nod, and that's when he let go of my coat. I walked into the bathroom and changed into my night clothes. I just washed my face because I didn't have time to take a shower. He was still awake, waiting for me. 


So I lay down beside him, and he scooted over me. He started tugging at my shirt, and I knew what he wanted. Usually, he doesn't ask for breastfeeding, but sometimes he cries or misses me. He does this. He looked at me with puppy eyes. His forest green eyes glistened with tears, and I sighed in defeat. He was already crying. I fed him until he fell asleep. He snuggled close to me, and I wrapped my hands around him while placing a kiss on his head. I feel guilty because, as a mother, I couldn't give him the time that a growing child needs. At least I can do this to keep our bond strong. I kept staring at his sleeping face. His father's words kept echoing in my head. I don't know why the hell he is coming back into my life. Why does he want me to be his stripper for a month? My life is difficult, but I was happy with my small family, but his presence has wreaked havoc in my life. What if he discovers he has a son? What if he decides to take him away from me to take his revenge? I know his wife would never accept a child from another woman, but what if?


Those what-ifs had many possibilities. 


Neil is my life, and if he takes him away from me, I will die. He is my oxygen, which has kept me alive for the past four years. It made my heart beat in fear. I stayed awake until late thinking about what I would do next. My eyes were closed in exhaustion, but I had one thing on my mind. I would never let him know about Neil. The next day started as usual for everyone but me. I woke up with a throbbing headache. I was already late for work because my damn eyes didn't open on time. I was running late, so I skipped breakfast even though my stomach growled. Before leaving, I told Neil to be a good boy and listen to Grandma. From today, the new project is starting, and I will come home even later than usual. My cell phone rang again, and I saw Arons's name flashing on it. 


"Where are you, Hazel? The boss is asking for you. The new businessman who we are hosting is going to be here soon," he said in a stressed voice. 


"I'm so sorry, but I'm running late. I will do my best to reach the office before he comes. Please, until then, take my place. I will be there soon." I said in my scrambled tone and cut the call because I saw a bus arriving at the bus stop. I ran towards it with all the energy left in me. I got inside just when the doors were about to close. I stood in the corner because there was no vacant seat. I massaged my forehead, but that throbbing pain won't go away. I sighed deeply, still waiting for my stop to arrive, mustering all my patience. I bolted out of the bus when my stop arrived. 


"Is he here?" I asked Aaron, who was waiting for me at the entrance. I was gasping for air. 


"He arrived ten minutes ago, and they are waiting for you," he said with a sorry tone in his voice. He was feeling sorry for me because I now have to face all the backlash from the boss. 


"Take this, and I will go in," I said while handing him my bag and taking out a notepad from it. 


"Best of luck, you can do it," he said while patting my back. I nodded my head and took a deep breath to calm myself. I knocked on the door. 


"Come in." I heard a faint voice from behind the door. I brought a smile to my face even though I was feeling like crying before walking into his office. 


"Good morning, gentlemen," I said as soon as I stepped into the office with that big smile plastered to my face. Two heads lifted and looked at me. My smile vanished from my face when I saw green eyes looking at me with a mixture of surprise and amusement in them. 


Why the hell is he showing up at all my workplaces? 

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