Ellies P.O.V
It has been a few weeks since Leah and I spoke about everything and although it was difficult, it definitely lifted a heavy weight off my shoulders, a weight I have felt like I have carried around for pretty much a whole year and it felt good to finally get it off my chest, to someone else other than my therapist, to...Leah. Since then, Leah and I have been good, fairly platonic, but good. We actually talk now when we do handovers, rather than me just leaving as quick as I can, in fact I even sometimes stay for a drink or spend a little time with both Archie and Leah which is nice, for all of us. The conversation we had was never going to end in us just getting back together and forgetting about everything that has happened over last 6 months. Would I love for our family to be back together? Yes, of course but it's not as easy as that. It's obvious Leah and I still love each other, but we are both also been very cautious, last time we rekindled, look what happened. If we both want to make it work, we both need to do it right and the last few weeks has just been about us getting back to some sort of normality, with each other, been friends again. Without any distractions. Not only are we both parents to Archie, but we also obviously play for the same team and see each other day in, day out. My rehab is actually going pretty well, I'm trying not to get frustrated even though I desperately want to be out on that training pitch with the team but I have to keep reminding myself of the process, although it's a very fucking long one!
Im still also doing my therapy sessions, and they are going well, I'm open with Leah about them too, I don't tell her what gets discussed as that's for me, not that she asks anyway, but I at least tell her when they are, especially if it clashes with my time with Archie.
Of course, I have shared my thoughts with my therapist about the whole Chloe situation, and did it hurt when I found out? Yes, like a dagger to the heart. But I'm over it, it is what it is. Did I feel betrayed? Part of me, yes. But I don't blame Leah, we weren't together. I know she still feels guilty about it, despite me telling her numerous times to stop apologising, to be honest, I just want to forget about it. Neither of us can hold on to it forever and I know if I did it would eat me up inside, and that's not something I'm prepared to do anymore. I had to let it go and I have.
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"Why do we say every year that we will start early but here we are, yet again, ordering Christmas presents just a few weeks before?" I put my head in my hands, laptop on my knee and a laptop on Leah's knee, both of us working through the lists we have made of all the presents we need to buy for everyone for all sides of the family.
"We also didn't have an almost one year old to buy for before!" Leah face palms herself
"He isn't even going to know what's going on"
"Aw I know, but it's his first Christmas" Leah smiles innocently, knowing full well we have spent too much on him
"Right....that's the last one ordered. Done. Finito. Hecho" I proudly smile
"Ooo...was the last one for me?" Leah smirks
"You should be so fucking lucky" I laugh as I shut the laptop lid, revelling in how glad I am I've finished
Leah pulls a shocked face and places a hand on her heart "I'm the mother of your child"
"That one again" I playfully roll my eyes, as I get up off the sofa "Do you want a drink?"
"Please" Leah smiles as she buries her head back into the laptop, continuing through her list
I make my way back over to Leah with our drinks "You nearly done?"
"Nearly...what about this?" Leah flips her laptop screen to me
"That wasn't on his list was it?"
"No..." Leah smiles, innocently
YOU ARE READING
From Barcelona To...
FanfictionEllie Jones has a big heart, she is feisty and passionate, football is the love of her life but she also loves her family and friends deeply, She would do anything for anyone. She has tons of love to give, but could she give it to someone in a relat...
