two worlds // luke hemmings

7.0

a/n: THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I ADD AN ACTUAL 5SOS SONG IN THIS BOOK BUT OMG I HAD TO IT FITS SO WELL SORRY NOT SORRY

*Luke's P.O.V*
June 20th

"I remember the day you told me you were leaving, I remember the makeup running down your face. And the dreams you left behind, you didn't need them like every single wish we ever made."

I've played Amnesia ten times in a roll, literally. My fingers are fucked up, my head is fucked up, I am fucked up myself. I've been barely able to eat for 18 days now, I've got bags under my eyes because I can't sleep and when I finally manage to take a nap I dream about us together, I dream that she's back to me; I wake up with a racing heart to a frustrating reality.

I stop for a little, grabbing my phone. Laurel doesn't get my calls or reads my texts. Unfriended me on Facebook. She blocked me on Twitter and unfollowed me on Instagram but her account is now open, which turns it into the only way I can reach her. I'm afraid of sending a message though, she could block me there as well.

I scroll through her photos, my heart aches every fucking time I see her. The latest one is from three days ago, she's on the beach staring at the ocean. On her neck I don't see the necklace I gave her anymore, and it feels like a punch on the stomach. Even though I've seen this photo a thousand times already it hurts to see that she appears to have moved on already. Fucking Austin is back to San Francisco, he got her a cat. She called it Darth Vader. I laugh sadly when I scroll down to her photo with Darth Vader, she's holding him with so much love...

I wish that was our cat.

I feel the tears returning and, as my medicine to avoid them to run down my face, I quickly resume my Amnesia singing.

Quick note: it's 3am.

"I wish that I could wake up with amnesia..." I gasp, feeling the knot in my throat getting stronger. "...and forget about the... the stupid little... things. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you..." Sniff. "and the memories I never can escape, cause..." I let go of the guitar, pushing it off my lap and hearing its strings complain as it collapses to the ground.

I crawl to my pillow and squint.

"I'm really not fine at all" I finally give in and let the tears flow. It's been several years since I last cried this much. I catch myself humming Hey There Delilah, changing the lyrics like I did once for Laurel. I imagine that she's here, right beside me.

Like all of this was just some twisted dream.

Unfortunately, I open my eyes again and realize I'm alone. We already began the tour, we've played twice in LA and everyone seems to be talking about how much my 'professional level has decreased'. Screw it all.

I stay awake as the sun rises, calming myself in hopes today I'm finally gonna get better.

I check my phone to see the time and my lock screen doesn't make things easier, it's a selfie Laurel and I took one day at the porch, when I was singing Daylight. Her head is on my shoulder and I'm squeezing her tight with a big smile on my face. I miss the legit happiness, recently I've been nothing else than blue.

"I miss you so much..." I talk to the screen. God, I'm going insane.

I hear the door opening, it must be Mary. The steps come upstairs.

"You can go home, Mary, just throw the bottles away first please." I mumble with my face tugged against the pillow.

"Dude, I'm no Mary." Michael steps in. "But you most definitely need her. What the fuck is wrong with you? There are empty bottles of beer all over the floor. This place is a goddamn mess, no wonder you're always losing everything"