Despondency (Sequel To Sweetheart)

Chapter 2 - Time Apart/Janet Saves The Day

June 14, 1998

Ginuwine's POV

"G you shouldn't be in the studio working man. You need to be home with yo fiance, she needs you", Tim said as I walked out of the recording booth.

"Every time I try to get close to her, she just pushes me away Tim. She's been cursing me out and throwing things at me and I'm just not for that. We just lost our son and I'm not trying to lose her too. It's best that we have time apart right now", I said as I sat down.

"Hold on, she been throwing shit?"

"Yeah, last night her ass tried to throw a damn knife at me in the kitchen when I was trying to get her to eat. At that point I had get my ass out that damn apartment before I would've put my damn hands on her, which is wrong. I would never try to hurt her."

"Damn G, it sounds like y'all been going through it", Tim shook his head.

"Yeah, and it's only getting worse. Every time when we're together, we're either arguing or not talking at all. I love Mariah and just want her to know that it wasn't her fault that she lost our baby, but she still keeps blaming herself."

"It looks y'all need to sit down and have a civil conversation with each other."

"Yeah, if only it was possible to do that without her trying to kill me", I scoffed.

But I knew Tim was right. The only way things would have a chance of getting better is if Mariah and I sat down and talked.

Author's POV

You can do this……no you can't, Mariah thought as she threw the piece of toast down onto the plate.

She had been trying for over an hour to eat, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"Why is this so fucking hard!", she said out loud.

"Mariah?", a soft voice said.

It was none other than Janet.

"How did you get in here!", Mariah yelled.

"I'm sorry, but you gave me a key remember? I tried calling to see if you were okay, but you didn't answer so I decided to come over here."

"You can leave now", Mariah said harshly.

"Mariah just let me help you. I know you're going through a tough time and it clearly looks like you're not taking care of yourself", Janet made a point.

It was true. Mariah usual golden curls were in a dull, tangled bush on her head. She had bags under eyes and it smelled like she hadn't showered in days.

"I'm taking care of myself perfectly fine", Mariah bit.

A damn lie. I could smell your musty ass as soon I came through the damn door, Janet scoffed.

"Where's Ginuwine?"

"He's been working in the studio, because he doesn't wanna be around me."

"Or are you just pushing him away?", Janet shot back.

"Why are you so damn concerned?", Mariah rolled.

Oh no the fuck she didn't, Janet thought as she glared at Mariah.

"Look here Mariah! I came over to your damn apartment to make sure yo ass was okay. Look around you! It's shit thrown all over the place, your hair is all fucked up and you smell like a damn zoo. Now I can leave right now or I can stay and help you. Pick one!" Janet yelled.

Mariah looked up at Janet immediately burst out in tears. As much as she yelled for her to leave, on the inside she wanted to stay and comfort her.

"S-Stay……please", she whispered.

"That's what I like to hear, now let's get you cleaned up", Janet said, helping Mariah out of the chair.

They went upstairs and Janet waited patiently while Mariah took a much-needed shower.

Hopefully her pretty ass will smell better, Janet chuckled to herself.

Ten minutes later Mariah came from the bathroom in tears ……..once again.

"I can't comb my fucking hair. It's too tangled", she cried.

"Yeah, you haven't touched it in weeks. Get a comb and some detangling spray and I'll comb it out for you."

Mariah went back into the bathroom to get the necessary supplies for her hair and came back out with a handful of things.

"I have everything", she mumbled to Janet.

"Okay, now sit your ass down on the floor and stop that crying."

Mariah listened sat down on the floor between Janet's knees.

"So tell what exactly is going with you and Ginuwine right now?", Janet said as she started combing out the knots in Mariah's hair.

"He hates me because I killed his baby", Mariah said trying not to cry.

"Mariah losing your baby wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I feel like there was something I could've done though. All the warning signs were there and I just ignored them."

"Like what?", Janet frowned.

"I was bleeding almost every day and sometimes it would hurt so bad. I didn't tell Ginuwine about it because I didn't want him to freak out or worry about me."

"Mariah, you should've told him how you were feeling. You could've died", Janet said as she continued working through Mariah's frizzy and tangled curls.

"I know", she said as tears began to fill her eyes again. "I can never do anything right. It's my fault that my baby isn't alive."

"Mariah that isn't my point. As crazy as this sounds, some things just aren't meant to be. As precious as that baby boy would've been, it probably wasn't his time to be on Earth yet. You and Ginuwine aren't ready to be parents. Y'all haven't even been together for a year yet."

"But Janet I-"

"Mariah I don't wanna hear it. Remember that night when you called me crying and saying that you were scared and weren't ready to be a mother?"

Mariah didn't respond, but instead felt more guilty than she already was.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad Mariah, but when you and Ginuwine are truly ready to be parents, then that's when you'll have another baby."