Despondency (Sequel To Sweetheart)

Chapter 44 - Breakdown

September 9, 1999
Manhattan, New York

Ginuwine/ Mariah's Setting

"You're so beautiful", Ginuwine muttered softly as he watched Mariah sleep as she lay on his chest. She was clinging onto him for dear life. This was the closest they had ever been in a while and also the most that Mariah let him touch her.

His eyes focused on her baby bump which seemed to be getting bigger everyday. Mariah was only four months pregnant but her belly looked as if she was six months pregnant. She hadn't really gained any weight either which only made her bump look bigger.

"No.....please! Please don't hurt me Tommy! NO! NO! GET OFF OF ME! GET OFF OF ME!!!!!!!", Mariah screamed out all of a sudden.

Ginuwine immediately shook her to wake her up and she instantly started crying.

"So Tommy was the one that did this you...I should've known. You've been giving me hints all this time", he said trying to keep his rage under control. He already had a plan forming in his mind.

Mariah nodded as she finally gave in. Tears cascaded down her cheeks like a river.

"Shhh I'm here babygirl", Ginuwine said as he pulled her close to him. She hesitated at first but then let him pull her all the way in.

He rubbed her back and tried his best to calm her down as she cried into his chest but Mariah was inconsolable. She was tired. Tired of everything and especially tired of living.

"I'm so sorry", Mariah cried out as she clung tightly to Ginuwine.

"There's nothing to be sorry about babygirl. You didn't do anything wrong", Ginuwine said gently.

He could feel the pain, fear, and stress radiating from her body as she sobbed. It hurt him deeply to see her like this.

Ginuwine was going to make sure that he did everything in his power to make sure Tommy paid for what he did to Mariah. He could care less if he was dead or alive by the end of it either.

Later That Day

Mariah sat and stared at herself in the large mirror in the bathroom her and Ginuwine shared. She didn't like what she saw, so she was going to change a few things.

She had already shaved her eyebrows off and plucked all of her eyelashes out.

Now, she had a pair of scissors in her hand, trying to figure out what to do with them. Her eyes immediately focused on her golden brown curls which cascaded down all the way down her back.

Mariah knew that Ginuwine loved her curls so she thought maybe if she cut them off, that he would love her less.

Ginuwine doesn't want your ugly ass. You're worthless and nobody wants you, Tommy's voice echoed in her head.

She grabbed a single curl and cut it completely off, a smile spreading across her face. She proceeded to cut off a few more curls before stopping. Her hair was thick so the missing pieces that she cut out weren't noticeable.

Mariah stared at the pair of scissors and immediately averted her eyes to her wrist.

You should kill yourself you stupid bitch. You're only good for sex and nothing else, Tommy's voice echoed again.

She opened the scissors and began to drag the blade across her wrist. She dug down at the same time, causing her wrist to start bleeding.

A small yelp came from her as she kept slicing in the same spot over and over and over again. Blood was beginning to run down her arm and get everywhere.

"Mariah no stop! What are you doing?!", Ginuwine said as he came into the bathroom and saw what she had done.

He snatched the scissors out of her hand and looked around at the mess she made. Her hair was all over the counter and the floor and he saw that her eyebrows and eyelahes were missing.

"It seems like I can't leave you unattended for even a few minutes", Ginuwine sighed as he got out supplies to bandage her wrist.

"I just wanted to give myself a makeover", she mumbled, satisfied at what she saw in the mirror.

Ginuwine shook his head in disappointment as he cleaned the blood off of Mariah's arm and wrapped her wrist up.

"Mariah you are truly scaring me. I don't know what to do at this point. You just sliced up your wrist, what if you start trying to hurt the twins", he sighed.

"That's the only thing you care about, the twins", she mocked. "I see you only wanted me for sex so you could get me pregnant with your babies. You could care less about me as a fucking person."

"Now you know that is not true Mariah", Ginuwine said confused.

"Yes it is. Once I give birth, you can have your babies. My purpose here will be done, because I can't be a mother to them. They probably already hate me. I'm worthless."

"Mariah....I'm sorry but that's it. I'm getting you some professional help whether you like it or not. I refuse to see you talk down on yourself like that. I refuse to see you hurting yourself or our babies. I'm not about to lose you", he said distraught.

"I'd rather jump off a damn skyscraper before I let you send me to a fucking nut house", she screamed aggressively.

"I'm getting you help Mariah because I love you. I want you to heal. I know it's hard but I can't bear to see you like this", Ginuwine said assertively.

"Just let me die. If you love me, then let me go because I don't wanna do this anymore", Mariah said as she turned red.

"I'm never letting you go. I'm never giving up on you", Ginuwine said as tears filled his eyes.

"Why didn't that bullet kill me? That's all I wanted. I shouldn't be here right now. Why the fuck am I still alive?", Mariah yelled in frustration.

At that point, Ginuwine had broken down. He couldn't bare to hear the words that were coming from Mariah. The clock was ticking for him to get her the adequate help that she needed before it was too late.

💔💔💔

Flasbacks, nightmares, and more will be coming soon.

What do you all want to see next? Leave suggestions here.

Do you think Ginuwine should get Mariah some help even though she doesn't want any?

How do you think Ginuwine should make Tommy pay for what he did?