Despondency (Sequel To Sweetheart)

Chapter 17 - Diagnosis

Unedited. Sorry for any mistakes.
Enjoy💕

October 26, 1998

Author's POV

"Babygirl wake up", Ginuwine said as he gently nudged Mariah.

"Nooo I don't wanna get up", she said tiredly as she pulled the covers over her head.

It was 7:30am in the morning and Mariah had a doctor's appointment with her gynecologist at 9:00 am. Today was the day they would figure out why Mariah wasn't able to get pregnant...or at least they hoped they would.

"Come on Mariah", Ginuwine sighed as he pulled the covers off of her and walked over to her side of the bed.

"Stop Ginuwine put me down!", Mariah whined as Ginuwine picked her up and carried her into the bathroom.

"We need to get ready for your doctor's appointment."

"Why did you schedule it so early?", Mariah asked as Ginuwine put her down.

"Because I want to get this handled once and for all", he said as he started his hygiene.

Mariah just sighed. She had a feeling that today's appointment wasn't going to be a good one.

Ginuwine and Mariah both took care of their hygiene and got into the shower.

They washed each other and quickly got out so they could get dressed.

"Ginuwine what happens if I can't have a baby?", Mariah asked as she did her hair.

"What do you mean?", he asked confused.

"Will you still love me?"

"Really Mariah? Why would I not love you? If you're not able to have babies, then there are other ways that we can get a baby."

"I know", she sighed.

Ginuwine went and cooked breakfast for the both of them. They ate and headed straight to the doctors office.

As soon as they arrived and signed in at the front desk, they were immediately sent back to the exam room where Dr. Rease was waiting for them.

"Hi Dr. Rease", Mariah smiled weakly as her and Ginuwine walked in.

"Hi! I'm glad to see my favorite couple again", Dr. Rease said as she greeted them.

"Mariah I'm going to need to you to lay on the exam table so we can get this appointment started right away."

"Okay. Is it okay to be nervous?", Mariah asked nervously as she laid down.

"Of course it is, but there should be nothing to worry about."

"I keep trying to tell her that but she won't listen", Ginuwine chuckled as he held Mariah's hand.

Mariah gave him the death glare and he immediately went silent, causing Dr. Rease to laugh.

"You two are soo cute", she laughed as turned on the ultrasound machine.

"Lift your shirt up for me please. I need to get a close up look at your uterus", Dr. Rease instructed Mariah.

Mariah lifted her shirt and Dr. Rease squeezed a liberal amount of jelly on her stomach and began the ultrasound, gently moving the probe across Mariah's lower abdomen.

It took her a long while to find her uterus, but when it finally showed on the monitor, Dr. Rease was terrified at what she saw.

The look was written all over her face.

"Is there something wrong?", Ginuwine and Mariah asked in unison.

"Um.....no I just need to take a closer look", Dr. Rease said as she zoomed in on the monitor.

After a few minutes of looking at the screen, she finally spoke.

"Well.....I have good news and bad news for you Mariah, which would you like to hear first?"

"It doesn't matter just tell us", Mariah smiled weakly.

"Okay well...the good news is that I can tell you're still having your cycle every month, so that lets me know your ovaries are working just fine. The bad news is that your uterus is severely scarred and damaged from when you miscarried your son. There are thick pieces of scar tissue that need to be removed if you want the chance to have another baby. The surgury is very risky and it is a large chance that it won't work at all", Dr. Rease said with a frown.

"S-so if I get the surgury there's a chance that still can't get pregnant?", Mariah asked, in an emotionless tone.

Ginuwine looked down and squeezed her hand trying to process what was just said.

"Yes, sadly there's still a chance that you will not be able to conceive a baby."

"Okay thank you, that's all we needed to know", Mariah smiled weakly as she pulled her shirt down, got off the table, and left the room.

"Mariah, sweetie we aren't done", Dr. Rease said as she tried to follow her but Ginuwine held her back.

"It's okay I think we had enough for today. Thanks for everything", he said and went to find Mariah.

Ginuwine was surprised at the news and even a little upset, but he still loved Mariah and could only imagine how she felt at the moment.

He knew how much she wanted to have his children, not because he'd asked her, but because she wanted to.

Once Ginuwine made his way outside, he saw Mariah sitting in the car waiting for him.

The look on her face broke his heart.

He made his way over to the car and got in. Mariah was completely silent until he was about to turn the key in the ignition.

"G-Ginuwine I'm s-so sorry", she said as she burst into tears.

"Mariah this isn't your fault babygirl", he said as tried his best to console her.

"Yes it is! I can never do anything right! I really wanted to have babies and now I can't. What did I ever do wrong to deserve this. All I want is a family to call my own and I can't fucking have that."

"Calm down babygirl....there are other ways we can get children. We can always get a surrogate. Dr. Rease said your ovaries are still working and releasing eggs."

"I don't want a fucking surrogate!", Mariah yelled as she looked up from his chest. "I don't want another woman to carry our babies. I wanna carry them, feel them move inside me, and nurture them. I wanna feel the same way I felt when I was pregnant with Isaiah. He would've been the sweetest baby", Mariah cried loudly.

"Mariah I'm just saying that having a surrogate could be part of our options. You can even try getting the surgery", Ginuwine reasoned.

"No! No! No! I'm not getting surgery. Dr. Rease already said it didn't work. See, you just don't understand how hard this is for me. I'm useless, I can't even have kids and you think a fucking surgery is gonna work? I can't even talk to you anymore. Just shut the fuck up and take me home!", Mariah yelled.

"But Ma-"

"Ginuwine I'm not in the fucking mood, just take me home", Mariah said as hot tears rolled down her cheek.

Ginuwine obeyed, but he couldn't quite figure out why Mariah was so angry......at him.