Despondency (Sequel To Sweetheart)

Chapter 4 - The Rude Awakening

June 21, 1998

Author's POV

"Mariah? Where are you?", Ginuwine called as he walked around their apartment looking for her.

He had just woken up and Mariah wasn't in her usual spot next to him in their bed.

Where the hell did she go? I don't have time for this shit, he thought as scanned every room for his missing fiance.

After searching for a while, Ginuwine eventually made his way into the kitchen and found a note with Mariah's engagement ring on the countertop.

Lord please don't me tell this is what I think it is….

He picked up the tear-stained letter and began to read.

•••••••••••••

Dear Ginuwine,

I knew I couldn't tell you in person without getting emotional so I decided to write this letter.

First off, I just wanna say that the relentless arguing and fights that we've been having aren't good for me or you. Besides, I already know you hate me because I killed your son. That's why I think you've been having these black-outs lately.

All of the warnings signs leading up to his passing were there, but I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to worry about me. Now I have to live with guilt and pain every day knowing that I could've done something to save our precious baby.

What I'm trying to say is, I love you but I think it's best that we not be together anymore. I really want you to get some help for your problem, if you don't wanna do it for yourself, at least do it for me and our son.

I also think it's best that you find someone else to marry and have beautiful children with, because I obviously can't give you that. You can't even stand to have me around anymore.

There's still love for you in my heart and I wish you luck in finding the woman of your dreams……

                                                     Love,
Mariah.

P.S. I left what I came in with, all of the clothes, shoes, or anything you've purchased for me have been returned back to you. Thanks for everything.

•••••••••••••••

By the time Ginuwine finished reading the note, he was in tears.

He went to the phone and dialed Mariah's number but after several rings, she didn't answer.

Why is she doing this to me?! I lose my son and now my fiance?, Ginuwine thought as his emotions built up inside him.

He read the letter over and over again until he was bawling his eyes out. This was the first time a woman ever made him cry.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

"Mariah why won't you tell me what's wrong?", Janet asked.

She had showed up at Janet's apartment last night with nothing but a nightgown and no shoes, scared out of her mind.

"J-Janet i-if I tell you, you might kill him because I know how you are", she cried.

"Kill who?"

"G-Ginuwine."

"Did he hurt you?"

She nodded her head yes as a fresh stream of tears rolled down her cheek.

Oh hell nah, I know this nigga didn't just hurt my baby like this, Janet thought.

"Tell me what happened", Janet said, placing her hand on Mariah's shoulder.

"W-We fell asleep, and then I woke up and he was on top of me trying to pull down my panties. He was a having a black-out in his sleep."

"He tried to rape you?"

"Yes, but I knew he didn't mean it."

"Mariah there's no excuse for him to try to do that to you. He needs to get help", Janet said.

If only I could follow my own advice, she scoffed to herself.

"What happened next?"

"I freed myself from his grip and ran to get a bag of clothes, which I left in my car when I came here", Mariah sniffled. "I left him for good Janet, we aren't getting married anymore. I just want him to get help, I don't want him to turn into another Tommy."

"Come here Mimi", Janet said as she pulled Mariah close, so that her head rested on her chest.

"I knew this was going to happen Janet. That's why I started moving my stuff out of his apartment. I'm glad I finished in time."

"It's okay Mariah, you can stay here as long as you want but my break is almost over and I have to get back to touring in a few weeks. Have you talked to Brat or Aaliyah about any of this?"

"No, I haven't talked to them and Brat is probably gonna kill me for not talking to her and ignoring her calls. I'll tell them about everything when I'm ready but not now."

"Okay, just know that we're here for you Mimi. We're your girls", Janet said.

"I know, I just wish things between me and him didn't have to turn out like this….."