Despondency (Sequel To Sweetheart)

Chapter 6 (Part 1) - Therapy

This isn't the best update but enjoy!
Sorry for any mistakes. M💖

July 16, 1998

Author's POV

Ginuwine's Setting

"So Mr. Haughton, tell me why you're here", Sylvia, Ginuwine's therapist asked him.

This was Ginuwine's very first therapy appointment after he bailed out on the first one and missed several more due to his nervousness and anxiety.

"I'm here because I want to get better. I don't want to be sad or angry anymore", Ginuwine said weakly as he stared at his hands, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

He was in his most vulnerable state. Nobody, even Mariah, had ever seen him like this.

"How about let's start from the beginning. When did you start to feel angry?", Sylvia said as she got out her notepad and pen so she could take notes.

"It started when I was very young. I'm the oldest out of three children so when my parents worked late, it was my responsibility to take care of my younger siblings. I basically raised them because my parents were barely home, and when they were, it was pure hell."

"Elaborate."

"My mother was very gentle and caring. She loved us a lot and did everything for us kids when she wasn't working. My father on the other hand was an ass. Nothing was ever good enough for him. I spent my whole childhood trying to gain his approval but that never happened. He would hit my mother sometimes when they argued and that made me really angry."

"It tried my best to keep my little brother and sister from seeing them argue and fight but I wasn't very successful sometimes."

"How did it make you feel that your father treated you and the rest of your family so harshly?"

"It made me feel like it was my fault because I was the oldest, so I felt like I was responsible in a way for how he treated us", Ginuwine said shakily as memories of his childhood came back to him.

"The anger from everything going on at home began to build up inside me and I started to fighting at school to try to ease the some of the tension I was feeling."

"Hmmm....do you black-out out when you have your anger episodes?", Sylvia asked, directly hitting the target.

"Yes."

"Mhm okay", she said as she quickly jotted down more notes.

"Did your anger episodes change as you got older?"

"Yes, they got a lot better when I went to college to study art. My father was still always in my ear though. I started letting my anger out through sex and smoking weed, and boy I was having sex and smoking (all) the time", Ginuwine chuckled a little, finally beginning to feel comfortable.

"How long has it been since your last black-out?", Sylvia asked quickly changing Ginuwine's mood.

"I-It was about 2 months ago", he said shakily remembering what happened.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Well.....I was arguing with my now ex-fiance and the next thing I know she's on the floor crying with half of her clothes off and my pants were undone.....she said that I um....I t-tried to rape her."

"And how did that certain episode make you feel afterwards. Sad or angry?"

"I....I felt both because......because I didn't mean to hurt her", Ginuwine said bursting into tears. "I loved Mariah and it was never in my intentions to hurt her. She was the light of my life, the reason why I smiled everyday."

"I was supposed to make her my wife and she even carried my child once, but she miscarried it. I just wish that things didn't turn out like they did between us. My anger ruined our relationship and I can't live with myself knowing that I hurt her. Sorry for crying like a lil' bitch in front of you but I miss her so much and I want her back", he sobbed.

"Ginuwine....it's okay let it out", Sylvia said, reaching over her desk to rub his shoulder.

From the looks of it, she knew he was a very broken man that urgently needed help. She felt quite bad for him and couldn't imagine having everything in the world to nothing at all.