Despondency (Sequel To Sweetheart)

Chapter 15 - Janet's Confession

Unedited. Sorry for any mistakes.
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M💖

One Month Later.

October 16, 1998

Janet's POV

"Mariah can you please come over. I need to talk to you", I said into the phone trying my hardest not to cry.

"Give me 20 minutes okay?", Mariah said in that sexy ass voice.

"Hurry up okay?", I said.

"I'll be there", she giggled.

I hung up the phone and put my head in my hands.

I swear this woman just wants me to be miserable, I thought.

I had finally gotten home from touring yesterday when I found out out the news……

Mariah and Ginuwine had gotten back together and soon they were gonna get married.

How did I find out? I got a wedding invitation in the mail and also a handwritten letter that notified me that I was selected to be a bridesmaid.

I was happy for Mariah, but it killed me inside because I knew I couldn't have her.

If only she knew how much I loved her and wanted her…..

She was the one for me and she never knew it.

Ding Dong.

"That must be her", I said to myself.

I went to the door and opened it and sure enough it was Mariah.

"Janet! Oh my gosh it feels like I haven't seen you in forever!", she said excitedly as she pulled me into a tight hug.

The feeling of her body against mine damn near drove me crazy, but I forced myself to keep it together.

"Come in", I said as I led her to the living room.

"So how was the tour? I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to one of the shows. There's been so much going on", Mariah said as she sat down on the couch and I took a seat next to her.

"The tour was a success and it's fine that you couldn't make it. I know you had your hands full", I sighed as my eyes traveled the engagement ring on her finger.

"Me and Ginuwine are back together and we're engaged", Mariah smiled.

"Yeah….I saw the wedding invitation you sent in the mail."

"Are you able to make it?", she asked.

"Mariah…..I really need to talk to you about something", I said, a lump forming in my throat.

The time had come. I had to tell her how I felt about her either now or never.

"What is it Jan?"

"Before I say it…..you have to promise that this won't affect our friendship", I said as tears welled up in my eyes.

"I promise", Mariah frowned as she came over and sat next to me. I could see the confusion all over her face.

"Mariah……I-I…."

"What is it Jan? You know you can tell me anything", Mariah said softly as she grabbed my hand.

"Please don't hate me", I sniffled as tears began running down my face.

"I won't."

"M-Mariah….I-I I'm deeply in love with you", I said with all the strength in my body as looked her in her eyes. "Every since we first met back in '92 I've felt this strong attraction towards you. You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life."

The look on Mariah's face was hard to read. It was almost like she didn't hear a word I just said.

An awkward silence filled the room for a few minutes before she finally spoke.

"Janet….I thought you were straight", Mariah said quietly.

"I'm bisexual but I happen to like woman a little bit more than men", I explained.

"So is that why you bought me that vibrator?", she asked bluntly.

"Yes Mariah and I know it was wrong but I just get so worked up sometimes knowing that Ginuwine is giving you pleasure and fulfilling your needs and I'm  not able to do that. I get mad knowing that I'll never be able to have you", I cried.

"Janet….I never knew you felt that way but I'm a straight woman and I have a fiancé who's the love of my life. He loves me so much and he makes all of  my wildest dreams come true. Soon I'm going to be his wife and hopefully soon, the mother of his children. I'm sorry Jan", Mariah frowned.

"It's fine Mariah. I knew it was gonna be this way. I just needed to get it off of my chest before it was too late", I sniffled.

"Janet….it's okay. If you think I'm mad at you or grossed out, that's not the case. I know there's a guy or a girl out there somewhere for you", Mariah said as she placed her hand on my back, sending a slight shiver down my spine.

"But there isn't Mimi. I've only wanted you. You're so damn beautiful, kind, and little crazy sometimes, but that's what I like about you", I cried. "When you and Ginuwine were apart, I felt like I finally had a chance to make you mine but I held back. You were still vulnerable from losing your son and I felt like I would've been taking advantage of you."

"And I respect you for that because that was a very difficult time for me, but I still th-", Mariah said but was interrupted when I started kissing her soft lips.

I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

She tensed up, but she didn't stop me. At one point she relaxed and started kissing me back, which shocked me.

I pressed my lips against her neck and a loud, erotic moan escaped from her lips causing her to get ahold of herself again.

"Oh my god! What did I just do?! Janet I have to go", she said crying as she quickly got up and headed towards the front door.

"Mariah wait! I'm sorry!", I chased after her but she was too quick.

She slammed the door shut, causing me to jump.

"Why the fuck did I do that?", I scolded myself out loud.

Tears began to spill from my eyes as I slowly walked back into the livjng room.

Mariah probably never wants to see me again.

I'd eventually have to come to terms with the fact that I can't force Mariah to fall in love with me. She had already found the love of her life and they were soon gonna get married……..and there was nothing I could do about it……..

at all.