Despondency (Sequel To Sweetheart)

Chapter 49 - Reasons Why

October 9, 1999

Mariah's Setting

"So how are you feeling today Mariah?", Dr. Curie asked as she sat behind her desk.

"I guess I'm okay. I do want to apologize for the last time I saw you. It was out of my character to call you those horrible names", Mariah sighed.

Today Mariah was back at yet another therapy appointment that she didn't want to be at. The last appointment didn't go as planned because Mariah got triggered at the questions Dr. Curie asked resulting in Mariah cursing her out and storming out of the room yet again.

"Oh it's okay Mariah. I've been called worse", Dr. Curie chuckled. "Shall we get started?"

"Sure", Mariah smiled weakly, still feeling bad.

"Okay. Today we're going to discuss your current relationship and how it makes you feel compared to the others. What stands out about Ginuwine compared to the former men you were with?", Dr. Curie asked.

"He genuinely cares about me as a person and loves me for who I am but the one thing that really stood out about him is that he just didn't want me for sex and I appreciate that", Mariah said truthfully.

"How long have you two been together?"

"For almost three years. He came into my life at the right time too. I was going to end my life the same day I met him but I decided not to. He was something new to me and I wanted to give him a chance."

"So you were suicidal at the time you met him?", Dr. Curie asked as she took notes.

"Yes, I had just gotten through a horrible marriage and divorce. I felt like I didn't have the strength left in me to live...until I met him", Mariah said, trying not to get emotional.

"And what difference has he made in your life so far?"

"He has made my life better in every way. He showed me how real love works. He tells me that I'm beautiful every day. He's given me a new outlook on life and most of all, he's given me the family that I've always wanted", Mariah smiled as she placed a hand on her baby bump.

"When are you due?", Dr. Curie asked.

"March of next year", she grinned.

"Is Ginuwine excited?"

"Oh yes. He damn near passed out when I told him I was pregnant. He's been wanting kids for so long", Mariah said as she rubbed circles on her bump, causing the babies to begin to move.

"Aww he sounds like he's a great guy for you", Dr. Curie said.

"Yeah he is. I really don't feel like I deserve him though."

"Why do you say that?"

"Like I said before, I'm damaged goods. He deserves to have someone better than me. If he knew half of the things that happened to me in the past, he wouldn't want me anymore. He would think that I'm a disgusting whore", Mariah sighed as she looked down at her hands.

"Mariah that man loves you. Why do you keep letting your past stop you from loving him the way he loves you?"

"I-...I don't know."

"I have an assignment for you. I want you to tell him everything that you've been telling me and I mean everything.", Dr. Curie said as she sat her pen down on the desk.

"But Dr. Curie I can't do that. We have babies on the way and I don't want him to leave me. Can this just be our little secret?", Mariah said frantically.

"No Mariah. You have enough little secrets already. You need to face the truth and tell him everything. You can only keep that man in the dark for so long."

"I can't do this", Mariah started crying.

"Yes you can. You're a big girl. Let's make a deal. If you complete this assignment, I'll let you go home", Dr. Curie said with raised eyebrows.

"I can't tell him", Mariah sobbed uncontrollably. Even the thought of it made her sick.

She got out the chair and headed towards the door, running from her problems yet again.

"Only the truth will set you free Mariah", Dr. Curie said as Mariah fled her office and slammed the door behind her.

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Do you guys think Mariah will tell Ginuwine the truth about what's been hurting her for all these years?

Do you think Ginuwine will be upset when he finds out?

Story Suggestions?

Also, should this series continue into another book?