Suggested by: its_just_me_lucifer
Trigger Warning: Contains mention of rape and kind of mention of suicide.
Dean stirred in bed. His head began to pound from the night before as he slowly opened his eyes. He groaned, not wanting to get up, not wanting morning yet. A frown formed on his lips when he realized there was someone in bed next to him. He tried to remember her, or his, name, but not one came to him. Apparently he was too drunk to ask, and too horny to care last night. Slowly, he turned around to avoid waking them up. He panicked when he realized that it was Sam next to him. Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit... Dean thought to himself. Fearfully, Dean lifted the comforter that was wrapped around Sam and himself. He wasn't surprised to see that they were both naked. What if I raped my brother? Dean thought. You dumbass, how could you let this happen? His thoughts took over. He began to hate himself for what he did.
Dean quickly climbed out of the bed and threw on random clothes from the floor, not caring who's they were, or if they were clean. He ran into the bathroom and shut the door behind him, just in case Sam woke up. Dean sat on the closed toilet seat and prayed to Cass. Hey, Cass, I don't know where you are, or if you're busy with some angel shit, but I really, really need you right now, so if you could get your feathery ass down here, I'd appreciate it. Dean closed his eyes tightly and hoped for that familiar sound. Eventually, it came. Dean almost jumped up and pulled Cass into a hug, but held back. He had more important matters to worry about. He asked Cass to zap them somewhere else. Cass complied without asking questions.
They appeared in a field in what seemed like the middle of nowhere, and Cass looked at Dean, "Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?"
"Sam and I... we were drinking last night. I drank a lot, then this morning—" Dean suddenly choked on his tears. He took a deep breath before continuing, "This morning, I woke up next to Sam. We were both naked. I... I think I raped him."
Cass pulled Dean in for the hug he knew he needed. Dean gladly accepted the hug, and began to cry on Cass' shoulder.
"Dean, I'm sure everything is okay. It's going to be okay, you hear me?" Cass said. He pulled Dean away from him. He wiped Dean's tears away with his thumb.
"I don't deserve to live. I'm a disgusting, atrocious human being," Dean said tearfully.
"Don't say that. You have so much to live for. Sam will forgive you, no matter what. You're all he has."
"Exactly, I'm all he has, but now I've gone and fucked it all up."
Cass rolled his eyes at his friend, but said, "If you feel that bad about it, why don't we get a motel room and let everything cool off for a while?"
Dean agreed, and Cass took them to the nearest motel room.
****
Sam woke up not long after Dean left. Like Dean, he was drunk the night before, but not drunk enough to be completely blank on what happened last night. He remembered bits and pieces. He could feel that he was naked, so his memories of having sex with Dean were verified—it wasn't just a dream. Without opening his eyes, Sam reached out, expecting to feel Dean and pull him closer, but his hand was met with empty sheets. Sam quickly opened his eyes and looked around the room for Dean. He wasn't there. Sam didn't think much of this, Dean could disappear for a couple days at a time, but why did he have to go at this time?
Sam let Dean's disappearance go for a few days. When Dean still hadn't made it back home, Sam began to worry. He ended up praying to Cass.
Hey, Castiel. Dean hasn't been home in a few days, and I'm getting worried. Can you meet me at the diner a few blocks from here? I need to talk to you.
Sam began to walk down to the diner, hoping Cass would come.
****
When Sam called Cass, it gave Cass an idea.
"Hey, Dean, are you hungry?" Cass asked.
"Why?"
"Because it's been while since you've eaten, and I know a pretty good diner."
"I'm not hungry."
Anger passed over Cass, "Dean, you need to get your ass out of here and get back to your job. I'm tired of you constantly pouting and sulking around here. The world needs you... Sam needs you."
Eventually, Dean complied. Cass touched his forehead and zapped them both to where he was meeting Sam.
****
Cass and Dean arrived in a booth just as Sam walked in. He saw Cass in the both and gave him a big smile. When he slid into the booth, he noticed Dean was next to Cass, slouching in the booth.
"Dean? Are you okay?" Sam asked excitedly and worriedly.
Dean looked shocked, "Sam?" was all he could say.
Sam reached across the booth to cup Dean's face, "You look awful. Where the hell have you been?"
"I've been with Cass. I thought you'd be pissed at me for... you know." Dean seemed embarrassed.
Sam smiled, "Dean, how could I be mad at you?"
"You aren't mad at me?"
"No, I wasn't as drunk as you were that night. I made the choice. I wanted it to happen. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I didn't force you into anything?"
"No, you didn't. I figured that since you were drunk, your true feelings for me were showing. I couldn't have been happier when I woke up the next morning."
"And I left you there, alone."
"You did, and that's why I've been worried about you all this time."
"I'm sorry, Sammy."
Sam responded by pulling Dean in for a small peck across the table.
"Why don't we get some food to go?" Dean suggested.
Sam agreed, and Dean went over to tell the waitress they weren't staying. Sam looked at Cass and said, "Thank you. You got us back together, I appreciate it."
Cass smiled, "You two deserve each other, and I couldn't take his moping anymore."
Sam laughed, and Dean came back with two styrofoam take out boxes. "Ready?" he asked.
"Let's go," Sam agreed. He, Dean and Cass all walked outside.
"Hey, Cass, thanks, for everything," Dean said. He pulled the angel into a quick hug.
"Dean, you're my best friend. You and Sam can come to me for anything, okay?"
Dean nodded and let Cass go, clapping him on the shoulder. Sam waved goodbye to the angel as they parted ways. Dean slid his free hand into Sam's as they walked back to their motel room.
"Hey Dean?" Sam broke the silence.
"Yeah, Sammy?" Dean's smile warmed Sam's heart.
"I think I love you."
Dean stopped, "You love me?"
Sam turned toward him and gave him a cautious smile, "Yes, I do."
Dean pulled Sam into a sudden kiss.
"I love you, too," Dean said after breaking the kiss.
