Suggested by: its_just_me_lucifer
"Stop! Sammy, please, stop!" Dean begged.
Sam lifted himself off of Dean.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. I promise, Sammy, I love you and I want this, believe me, I want this, it's just..."
"I know, Dean, it's okay."
Dean leaned forward and kissed Sam again.
"It's just, everything comes flooding back, as soon as you do anything more than kiss just me."
Sam wrapped his arms around Dean and buried his face into his neck.
"Is there anything I can do, Dean?"
"What you're doing right now is perfect."
The next day, Dean went up to Sam.
"Can we talk?"
"Of course, Dean, what's up?"
"This is going to sound absolutely crazy, but I want to see if it'll help me get over... you know what," Dean said.
Sam gave a skeptical look, prompting Dean to continue.
"I want you to "rape" me. I mean, obviously, it wouldn't be actual rape, but I want you to make me feel like it is."
Sam scoffed, "You're kidding, right?"
"No, I'm not. I think it'll help me get over this."
"Why?"
"I don't know, Sammy!" Dean suddenly shouted. He closed his eyes and took a breath before continuing, "Please, Sam, try it. If it's too much, we'll stop."
Sam sighed, "Fine. How will we do this?"
"Just some time, come up behind me and start kissing me, then we'll wing it from there."
A couple days passed before Sam made his move.
He walked up behind Dean and grabbed him suddenly. Their lips were suddenly together. Dean didn't put up a fight. He let himself melt into Sam. Sam broke away.
"If this is a rape scenario, shouldn't you be fighting?"
"Shut up, Sammy," Dean said, pulling their lips back together.
Sam pulled them back towards their bedroom. Dean tried not thinking about what was going to happen. He tried to focus on Sam, just Sam, and how he was enjoying the feeling of their lips against each other.
Dean was thrown backwards onto the bed by Sam. Their lips came apart. Dean was already breathing heavily. Sam took his wrists and put them on the pillow above Dean's head.
"Don't move," Sam grumbled. He let Dean's wrists go, to unbutton Dean's jeans. Dean was beginning to feel uneasy. Sam left Dean's jeans bunched up at his ankles and pushed his t-shirt up, just a little above his belly button. He kissed the sliver of skin that was now showing.
"So how are we doing this?" Sam suddenly asked.
"Just imagine a rape scene and put yourself in it."
"No lube, no stretching, just go for it?"
"Just go for it."
Sam looked perplexed, "I don't wanna hurt you."
"Sammy, it's okay. Remember, this was my idea."
Sam nodded, but bit his lip as he slowly pulled down Dean's boxers, then his own.
"You sure?" Sam asked.
Dean knew it was probably his last chance to get out, but he just bit down on his bottom lip and nodded his head.
Sam, also unsure, slowly pushed himself into Dean. He stopped, letting Dean adjust. Then he remembered that he was supposed to be acting like he was raping Dean, and pulled out to quickly jam himself back in. He could feel Dean stretching around him, and just knew that Dean was going to be in pain afterwards if he wasn't already.
Meanwhile, Dean felt his chest tighten. He closed his eyes as he felt Sam inside of him, and tried to focus on Sam and what he was doing. It was no use. As soon as Dean closed his eyes, he was back in Hell. He was trapped, and Sam's thrusts only made the flashback seem more real. Dean could feel hot tears run down his cheeks.
"Stop! Stop, Sammy!" Dean cried out. Sam had already stopped. As soon as he saw the expression of anguish on Dean's face, he knew something was wrong. He pulled out and pulled Dean's boxers back on, knowing it would help him feel better.
"Shhh, shhh," Dean, it's okay," Sam whispered as he laid next to Dean and wrapped his arms around him.
"It's not okay, Sammy!" Dean shouted angrily, "I hate this. I want you so bad, but I can't."
"I know. I know, Dean," Sam said soothingly, knowing Dean was more mad at himself then at him.
"I don't know what to do, Sammy."
"Maybe you need a good experience to cancel out the bad one. We can try again sometime, okay? It'll be romantic and perfect."
"Thanks, Sammy..."
"I love you, Dean."
"Love you, too, Sammy."
Sam kissed Dean's forehead and as he held him tightly against time, knowing it was exactly what he needed at the moment.
