Fallin' All In You; Shawn Mendes

Twenty-Three

Chapter 23

Stress

"Can you stop worrying?"

•••

December; 5 months

Peyton

All my life I've been someone who's stressed about every little thing. Whether it was actually stress worthy or not. Even when things were already set and stone and nothing can be done about them, I still found some way to stress. My grandma always asked why I stressed over things I no longer could control. And well I never knew why I did, I just did.

The stress would go away whether it was in a few minutes, hours, or even days. Either way, it ended and I stopped stressing over it. But this wasn't one of those cases, because the stress wouldn't go away in a few minutes or hours. I was going back home for the week and well no matter where my mom was, stress followed.

And stress wasn't healthy for anyone, especially my unborn child.

•••

Tomorrow morning I'd be home in the toxic environment known as my childhood home. I'd be surrounded by people I don't know or people who pretend to care about me. I'd also be under the same roof as my mother. That wouldn't have bothered me as much before but knowing I have a secret that she doesn't know about? Yeah that made me nervous.

Morning sickness comes and goes, I could never really tell what mornings they would show up. But the fast few day? It has been nonstop and I have a feeling it's because I've been dreading this week. I love my sister and wish I would've been way more enthusiastic about going but I wasn't.

I was scared of all the different possibilities of how this will all go down. I was stressing over things that haven't even occurred yet. Like would my mom not allow me to attend the wedding? No, it's not her choice. Would she kick me out? No, I technically already ran away. Would she kick me out of the family? Well technically isn't that what I wanted?

No, I might hate how we lived or being controlled. I hated always having to do everything in the public's eye. I hated not having people love me for who I was and not my name. And yes I ran away but it was because that's what I needed. I wanted a life without people knowing exactly who I was and things about my family. I wanted a normal life, but I never not wanted my family.

I love my sister, we are different. She likes how we lived, she liked the attention and money. But she was still someone who respected how I felt. She was always there for me when my mom and I bumped heads. She was here for me when I found out I was pregnant and she helped me more than anyone ever would.

My dad, I love him because he never seen the money. He was like my grandma, he knew how I felt. But of course when she died he felt like he only had my mom left. So of course naturally he starts seeing her point of view now. He didn't even care that I left Home, some things change but I still love him.

I wouldn't change my family despite how twisted things are. So yeah I was scared of what would happen. I'm showing up pregnant, with a fake fiancé and baby daddy. My mom won't know but who knew, maybe she'd figure it out.

"Can you stop worrying?" Serenity said through the other end of the phone.

I looked through my closet and grabbed two of the only dresses that fit me. I swear one day I just woke up and my stomach was bigger. So there goes the clothes I still somewhat fit.