Saving the Broken (Connor x Deviant!Reader)

Chapter 25

Connor's POV

I was with Lieutenant Anderson. (Y/n) had gone home. I had almost insisted I go with her, but I knew it wouldn't have been a good idea. She would've wanted to stay up and keep me company and I want her to get her rest. She needs it, unlike myself. 

As I sat in the car listening to the music the Lieutenant had left on, I began to wonder why he was just sitting out there alone. I decided to get out and go over to him. As I did, I noticed that he seemed to be thinking hard about something. 

"Nice view huh? I used to come here a lot before." Hank said. I looked at him.

"Can I ask you a personal question Lieutenant?" I asked.

"Do all androids ask so many personal questions or is it just you?" Hank asked.

"I saw a photo of a child on the kitchen table. It was your son, right?" I asked.

"Yeah...his name was Cole." Hank replied. I thought about it.

"Before what?" I asked.

"Hm?" Hank hummed.

"You said, 'I used to come here a lot before'. Before what?" 

"Before..." Hank began. "Before nothin'." He finished, refusing to say. I walked ahead, getting in front of Hank.

"We're not making any progress in this investigation. The deviants have nothing in common. They're all different models, produced at different times, in different places." I said, frustrated. We weren't going anywhere with it and being frustrated with it was to be expected.

"Well there must be some link." Hank said.

"What they have in common is this obsession with RA9. It's almost like some kind of...myth. Something they invented that wasn't part of their original program." I replied.

"Androids believing in God." Hank concluded. "Fuck, what's this world commin' to?" He said, taking another swig of his drink like he didn't even care.

"You seem preoccupied, Lieutenant." I said, turning to face him. "Is it something to do with what happened back at the Eden Club?" 

"Those two girls...they just wanted to be together. They really seemed...in love." He said.

"They can simulate human emotions, but they're machines. And machines don't feel anything." I said.

"What about you Connor? You look human, you sound human, but what are you really?" Hank asked me.

"I'm whatever you want me to be, Lieutenant. Your partner, your buddy to drink with, or just a machine designed to accomplish a task." I replied.

"You could've shot those two girls, but you didn't. Why didn't you shoot, Connor?" Hank said, pushing me back. "Some scruples finally enter into your program?" I thought about it.

"No. I just decided not to shoot....that's all." I said. 

"You said machines can't feel emotion. What about (Y/n)?" He asked. I was confused.

"What?"

"Connor, don't tell me you've never noticed how she looks at you. How she smiles whenever she sees you in the morning. Even tonight. She was determined to keep that android from hurting you. You've never noticed any of that?" Hank asked. I thought about it.

"No, not those specific things. But..."

"But?" Hank questioned.

"But...earlier tonight when she was about to go home she asked if I wanted to go on a walk with her. We stopped at a park like this one. She seemed...more caring. When I got her home, I was about to leave and she...did something." 

"Did what?" He asked.

"I don't understand why, but I looked it up and...she kissed me." He looked stunned.

"Well shit, looks like my gut was right after all." He said. "But how did that make you feel, Connor? Did you even care?" 

Tell Hank the Truth?

"I...I was very confused. I didn't understand it and I felt...conflicted. I also felt...warm. I don't know how else to describe it." I replied. Hank pulled out his gun.

"But are you afraid to die Connor?" He asked, pointing it at my head. I was slightly nervous.

"I would certainly find it regrettable to be...interrupted...before I can finish this investigation." Now that Hank had mentioned (Y/n), I wondered how she would react if she saw me get shot or destroyed. Would she be upset? Would she be uncomfortable when I came back? Would she be angry at me for getting destroyed? He remembered the talk they'd had that day on the roof. "I don't want to watch that happen to you, Connor. Please...promise me you'll be careful." I remembered her words. I...I promised her. I didn't want to make her upset. Hank's voice brought me back to the present. 

"What'll happen if I pull this trigger, hm? Nothing? Oblivion? Android heaven?" Hank asked.

"I doubt there's a heaven for androids." I replied.

"Having existential doubts, Connor? Sure you're not going deviant too?" Hank asked.

"I self-test regularly. I know what I am, and what I am not." I explained. Hank paused for a moment before lowering his gun. He turned to leave. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"To get drunker!" Hank said. "I need to think." Hank grabbed his bottle and left, leaving me in the park, alone. I thought about what had just happened. I kept thinking of (Y/n). How would she have reacted? The questioned bothered me more than I expected. I didn't understand why. Why can't I figure this out? I wondered, frustrated that I was having such troubles. 

I decided to go for a walk. Hank said he needed to think, so I guess I needed to think as well. As I walked along, I kept circling back to the kiss. I had looked it up. It was a way humans showed affection toward one another. Affection had a broad set of meanings though. 

As I tried to come up with an answer, I only gave myself even more questions. I was only making it worse for myself. I groaned in frustration. I couldn't figure it out. Why couldn't I understand this? 

I stopped looking out at the water and the bridge in the distance. I stared at it for a long time. I looked up at the stars. I smiled a little. I looked back at the water. I...I want to see her. I thought about it. Should I go to see her? I thought about it, but I quickly came to my answer. Yes. I'm going to see her again. I began to make my way to her house. It would be a long walk, but I would get there. I would make sure I would get there. I couldn't wait to see her and for once, I didn't care about the reason I felt that way. Maybe all of this didn't need a reason after all.