Saving the Broken (Connor x Deviant!Reader)

Chapter 141

You went upstairs to take a shower while Connor stayed with the wolves. You started the water as usual and then you began to strip down, putting all of your dirty clothes in a neat pile on the bathroom floor away from the shower. You hopped in, washing your hair and skin until you felt like a new person. 

As you did, you happily hummed to yourself, enjoying the feel of the water rising off your body. It was a nice way to relax and get something done at the same time. You sang whatever song you pleased softly to yourself, not really feeling like bursting out into song at the moment. 

After you were done you dried off and began to change into your PJ's, but you paused before putting your shirt on. You remembered earlier when you and Connor had connected with each other. You had never really removed your skin on any other place but your arm. You removed the skin on your arm, looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror. You slowly let it go further and further along your body until your entire top half was free of your skin. You couldn't get rid of your hair though, not that you wanted to. Your hair was another physical part of you, so you couldn't remove it without some added tool. You stared at yourself, the sight slightly unsettling you. How can that be me? You wondered. It was so strange to see this. You had never actually seen an android let alone yourself bare of all skin aside from when you had freed the androids in the camp, but you hadn't been paying any attention to them, so you hadn't really seen them either.

Without realizing it, you had begun to cry. It crushed you, knowing that you would never be the same. It all was finally and truly sinking in. You were a hybrid. You were different and you'd always be that way. The thought of what you were was even more horrifying to you now that you were actually thinking about it. You weren't human like you were supposed to be. Nothing was simple. That news lady had also been a reminder of this. W-what am I? 

"(Y/n)?" Your skin instantly came back as you heard a voice outside the door. 

"C-come in, Connor." You said, slipping your shirt on quick. He walked in and you tried to wipe your tears away without him noticing, but it proved too difficult as he hugged you, clearly concerned over you.

"What's wrong?" He asked. You said nothing. He sighed. "(Y/n), please tell me what's wrong." He said softly. The gentleness and genuine love in his voice was your breaking point. You latched onto your boyfriend, crying softly. He knew you needed a minute, so he just held you close to him, letting you wear yourself out a little more before softly asking one last time. "What's wrong?" You pulled back a little, still sniveling like a child.

"I-I d-don't understand what I am anymore." He sighed.

"(Y/n), I told you that-"

"Just because I'm your girlfriend that doesn't say what I am! I'm not an android and I'm not a human! I'm neither and that's what I'll always be seen as!" You said, breaking away from his embrace.

"What made you start thinking about this?" He asked. You frowned a little. You let all of your skin disappear and he understood that it was hard for you to come to terms with some of your weird abilities when you weren't supposed to have them in the first place. You weren't supposed to be an android, and that fact only made all of this worse. "(Y/n)..." He gently pulled you into his arms again as you let your skin come back. "I know it all seems strange, but this is a part of who you are." He said.

"But why? I...I don't want to be like this." You whimpered.

"(Y/n), if you weren't like this think of everything that would or wouldn't have happened. You're like this for a reason and I do believe that. Another thing is I don't care what anybody perceives you to be. To me, you're perfect. You always have been and you always will be. You can't let this get to you. It won't do any good and we all need you. I need you." He said. You calmed down a little, starting to feel a bit better with every word he said. 

"Connor...I don't understand you." He kissed you.

"You don't have to understand me to know that I am here for you." He said. You smiled a bit. You kissed him again and you both hugged each other tightly as you did. It lasted for a few minutes before you both finally broke apart. "I love you, no matter what." You frowned a little.

"How can you love me? I'm so....broken."

"Then you can be fixed." He countered.

"You can't fix something this broken, Connor." He smiled a little at you.

"I can try." He told you. "And I always accomplish my mission, one way or the other." You smiled hugging him tightly. Connor gently ran his fingers through your hair, comforting you in another way he knew how to. "Physically, it doesn't matter what you are, it's what you are mentally and emotionally that matters. That and who you want to be." He told you. You looked at him, stunned. He smiled warmly at you, cupping your cheek as well. "Who you are is the most wonderful girl in the world and who you want to be is a good person set on doing what's right. That alone gives people every reason to love you. And if they don't, they aren't worth your time and affections. That's one of the reasons I never felt I was enough for you. I am not perfect and I have made horrible mistakes. I was corrupted, yet you still saw the good in me. You still loved me. I screwed that up with my irrational actions against Oreon once he first revealed he was a deviant. While I was trying to protect myself against him, I did chose to fight him instead of fleeing and try to get you to stop him. It was partially my fault and I understand why you gave me the blame for so long. Even after that, I was still in the wrong. I was a coward for not trying to follow you. I was an idiot for still choosing to fight against you. If anything, I have never deserved you. You have always tried to make things right whereas I was so blinded by my mission and what Amanda told me was important. I should've known she was wrong. I should've known that what was important was and always will be you. I will never be what you deserve, but if I am what makes you happy, I will do anything to keep it that way." You were practically in tears. You kissed him hard and he kissed back softly after you had calmed down a bit, turning it into a softer but still immensely passionate kiss.

"Connor, nobody is perfect, but never think that you are less than what I deserve. You're the only one for me." You breathed. He held you close, refusing to let go.

"So are you in my own case." He replied. You smiled, embracing him for a long time. You both stayed like that for what seemed like hours, but eventually, you both pulled back and headed to bed. Connor changed into more comfortable sleepwear and you got the bed ready. You straightened the pillows and untangled whatever blankets needed to be untangled. Soon enough, the bed was all fixed up for the night. If only you'd known it wouldn't stay that way for long.