•Benefits• {cash} {boyxboy}

Chapter 41: Exile

Shawn's POV

I sat alone on my bed. It was my third week here and I felt even more alone that I originally felt. I missed Taylor, I missed Taylor so much. All I wanted was for him to cuddle up with me, like he used to.

My mind drifted off to the first time he told me he loved me, even looking back on it now, it didn't feel like a lie.

FLASHBACK

Taylor and I sat on my bed. His hands tangled in my hair, moving back and forth. We sat in the dark. I looked up at Taylor. "So is this how you pictured we'd spend our six month anniversary?" Taylor asked with a slight chuckle. 'No, but it's perfect." I said while intertwining our fingers. "You're amazing you know that." Taylor said. I let out an exasperated chuckle. "Yeah right."

"Shawn, you ARE amazing." Taylor said. Taylor lifted my head up and softly pressed his lips to mine. I closed my eyes, absorbing every bit of bliss I felt from the kiss. After a few seconds, Taylor pulled away.

"I have something for you." Taylor said while pulling out something from his back pocket. "Taylor! I thought we said no gifts!" I exclaimed. Now I didn't have anything to give him.

Taylor kissed my cheek. "I know babe, but I had to. Technically it's not actually a gift." He said while handing me a letter. I looked at him oddly. "Just read it!" Taylor exclaimed. I opened the small piece of paper and started to read.

'Shawn, you know I'm bad with saying things so I decided to write it instead.

I love you.'

I looked up at Taylor and lunged my lips at his. He gripped my waist as our lips moved together. I quickly pulled apart. "I love you too Taylor." I said. Taylor smiled and pecked my lips.

"I have a feeling we're going to last a long time." I said while hugging him.

"Me too Shawn, me too."

END OF FLASHBCK

Tears poured down my face as I thought of the memory. Things were so much simpler back then. I would give anything to go back; I really would, for Taylor and I to be like that again.

I needed to find out where I went wrong, where we went wrong. I needed to fix this, even if I was the only one trying and even if it was just in my head.

I had hoped and prayed that Cameron had done what I asked him too. It was vital for me to have this time alone. I needed this. I needed this a lot. It was far too difficult for me to be in California anymore.

Every little detail, from streets we used to walk down to shops we used to shop in reminded me of him, and how happy we were back then.

I knew that out of the two of us, I was the only one taking it this bad. Also, I knew I should have informed my family about where I was going but I didn't feel like it was necessary. Even though they're probably worried sick, I just didn't... care. Maybe I wanted everyone to think I was dead. Maybe I wanted everyone to worry about me, as sick as that sounds.

I heard a knock on my door. This was odd. I wasn't supposed to get visitors. The knocking grew louder and louder. I rushed over to the door; I opened it only to feel an immense amount of pain spread through my cheek. Had someone just slapped me?

I looked up and saw the one person I really really didn't want to see right now. I mentally yelled at Cameron for not doing what I asked him to.

I quickly stood up, not breaking eye contact with him. "What are you doing here?" I asked, trying my best to act tough and strong even though right now my insides were basically liquid. Taylor shut the door behind him and started walking closer and closer to me. I began to back away slowly.

"Three weeks Shawn. I thought you were dead." He said while crossing his arms. "Good, then it had the desired the effect!" I shouted. Taylor shook his head. "Everyone thinks you're missing or dead. How could you put people through this!" He yelled. "I needed space Taylor, in fact I still need space!" I shouted back at him. "Then why couldn't you inform people that you were leaving huh? Why could you let them know instead of letting everyone think you're fucking dead!" he yelled again, this time coming closer to me. "Because then you'd never come looking for me!" I yelled out. Shit. I was NOT supposed to say that. This was not part of the plan.

Taylor looked at me with wide eyes. "You did this, put your family and your millions of fans in distress just because you wanted me to find you?" he asked while shaking his head. I didn't respond.

"What. Is. Wrong. With. You." He said word by word.

"I DON'T KNOW OKAY. But I couldn't handle everything that happened with me and you okay. I just couldn't. I couldn't accept the fact that the guy I've been in-love with for the past two years, never loved or cared about me. It was hard for me to accept that all the times we had meant nothing, that they were just some bullshit for your own amusement! It's hard Taylor. I didn't know what else to do other than to go into exile!" I screamed. My breathing started to increase. I felt rears trickle down my face. God I was pathetic.

Taylor's face had softened at this point. He started moving closer and closer to me, his face unreadable. I half expected him to punch me. But then, he pulled me towards him by my shirt collar and kissed me.