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Chapter 52: I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off Me

Cameron's POV

 

I anxiously waited for Matthew to arrive. I couldn't help but wonder what he meant when he said 'me and you'. As if we're a thing, which we're not.

There was a soft knock on my door. I rushed over and opened it. There stood Matthew. He looked paranoid. "Hey." I said softly only to be cut off by him grabbing my face and pushing his lips to mine. I gasped at the sudden contact and pushed Matthew away. Fuck. Matthew did not just kiss me. No way. This must be some big joke. My brain couldn't process what was going on.

"DUDE!" I exclaimed while widening my eyes. Matthew looked up at me. He looked almost... hurt. I didn't push him that hard. He couldn't... he couldn't be hurt that I didn't kiss back.

"I think I love you Cameron." Matthew said quickly.

My stomach plummeted. No no no no no no no. This is not happening. "You don't love me Matthew you love Carter." I said while backing away. Matthew loves Carter, not me. This isn't the way it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be Nash and I, not Matt and I. As much as I love Matt, as a friend, this cannot happen. Not again. I wont let it.

"Cam, please say something." Matthew begged. He looked terrified. I felt like an asshole. I shook my head and walked over to him, pulling him in for a hug. Matthew was shaking. "Look, you love Carter okay, not me." I said trying to reassure him. Matthew looked up at me and shook his head. "He came over today you know." I said. I pointed at my now black eye. Matthew's mouth dropped open in realization. "He almost beat the crap out of me. Then he started crying. Kept saying how he thinks he isn't good enough for you." I said.

Matthew shrugged and wiped his tears away. He let out a soft sniffle.

"I don't know where my mind's at right now Cameron. I don't know if I even still love Carter. I mean I do, to a certain degree I guess. It just doesn't feel the same anymore. I keep wanting to kiss you, ever since that night. I know you belong to Nash and that makes me feel even more shit because I know you'll never love me back-"

"I love you Matthew, just maybe not in the way you want me to. And I'm sorry for that." I said honestly. I gave Matt a sympathetic smile. "Maybe you should go home, get some rest." I suggested. "Could I stay here? Just for the night?" Matthew asked. I wondered if this was a good idea or not. It probably wasn't but I wasn't going to make him leave. I'm not that much of an asshole. "Sure." I said while walking over to the guest bedroom. I opened the door and motioned for Matt to follow me.

Matthew sighed. I knew this was a bad idea but I just felt so bad. The look on his face was absolute heartbreak. "Or... You could sleep with me? I mean... If you wanted to." I said. I could feel the awkwardness in the air. "I'd like that." Matt said with a small smile. "Come on then." I said while leading him to my bedroom.

"How are you and Nash?" He asked while getting into the bed. I sighed. I could tell he didn't really want to know. "I don't know." I said. Matt raised an eyebrow at me. I quickly slipped into the covers and faced him. "He left. I think we're done for real now. He is getting married anyway. Carter has this mad idea that we should leave. Get new ID's and stuff." I said softly. "Why would you need to do that?" Matthew asked. Oh right I forgot, Matthew didn't know the whole story.

Slowly but surely I explained the entire situation to Matthew. Word for word. He seemed so captivated by the whole thing.

"But I don't want you to leave." Matthew said softly. I sighed. "I don't even know if I want to leave." I said truthfully. "Also, I doubt Nash would be for it. I mean, he's already turned it down once." I continued on. Matt shrugged. "What if he says yes though?" Matt asked.

I actually never thought of the possibility of Nash saying yes. My mind had been playing the same scenario over and over again. And it included Nash saying no every time. I was almost certain Nash would say no. But then again, if he says yes, would I be willing to go through with it? I wasn't very sure of that myself.

"I never thought of that." I said. "You have got to stop always thinking of the negative Cam." Matt said while shaking his head. "Well, what else do you expect me to do? It's always ended up being negative when it comes to Nash." I said. I did this, I always had low expectations so that I would never be disappointed. But, somehow, I always ended up disappointed. Always.

"Maybe things could be good if you look at the positive for once." Matthew suggested. I let out a small laugh. "Things can never be good Matt. Not for me anyway. And if they ever are, it's only ever for a short period of time. It never lasts." I said.

"I think Carter's right Cam. I think you should go and talk to Nash. At least give it a shot you know." Matthew said. I could tell Matt just wanted what was best for me. And I appreciated that. I appreciated that a lot. "Thank you Matt..." I said softly.

I suddenly felt Matt pull me to his side. I didn't resist. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled me against him and placed little kisses along my back. I felt shivers run through my entire body. "It'll be okay." Matt said. I tuned around and faced him. I slowly placed a small kiss on his lips, thanking him.

I then moved to the other side of the bed. Much to my surprise, Matthew didn't protest.

"Night Cam." he said softly.

"Night Matt."

//

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