•Benefits• {cash} {boyxboy}

Chapter 73: Conversations About Nash

3rd person's POV

Cameron stared out of the window of Clayton's apartment. Sunday's were his only day off during the week. He had photo shoots almost everyday.

Cameron felt Clayton's arms around his waist. Leaning back against his chest, he looked up into his boyfriend's eyes. They kissed for a moment and then Cameron turned back to looking at the skyline of the city.

"Have you talked to Shawn about flying to America for the wedding this weekend?" Clayton asked.

"No." Cameron admitted. "I don't feel like going home and dealing with all the drama."

"Well I have no objection as to you staying here." Clayton leaned down and kissed Cameron firmly.

"Don't you think it's kinda weird though?" Cameron asked turning around and sitting in the chair next to the bed.

"What?" Clayton questioned.

"Are you upset that I don't want my friends to know about us yet?" Cameron leaned forward and intertwined their fingers. Clayton saw the hurt in Cameron's eyes.

"Well I know you care for your friends dearly, and all of you have this unbreakable bond that I'm kind of jealous of. None of my friends came and visited me when I moved from America, so seeing you with all your friends yeah I guess it puts me off a bit. Although I know that they love you and you love them. And I know that you still care about Nash and that's okay. I know that you don't want them to pick sides, I get that Cameron."

"I feel like there is a 'but' in there somewhere." Cameron said softly.

"Well... If they are your friends shouldn't they be happy that you're happy? I know Nash is a good friend and all and he's going through whatever the fuck he's going through, but they shouldn't judge you and think that you starting a new relationship that makes you happy is somehow wrong."

"Well, I'm pretty sure Matthew already knows. He knows me better than I know myself. My only issue is if he told Nash." Cameron sounded angry.

"Is that such a bad thing though? You're doing him a favor. You're letting him see that you have moved on with your life and he should do the same thing."

Cameron stayed silent.

Clayton raised an eyebrow. "Am I missing something here? Your relationship with Nash is over and you're with me now. It's kind of upsetting that my own boyfriend doesn't want to show me off to the world. I will wait till you're ready though because I love you. But you need to decide on who you love more." Clayton got up and walked over to the window.

"What do you mean by that last part?" Cameron questioned.

"If you love Nash or me more." Clayton said with a weak smile.

Cameron was conflicted. Clayton was incredible. He was the first person he met at BMA. He instantly recognized him. They became good friends. The pain of being shut off by Hayes and most of the guys along with not knowing if Nash was okay or not was too much for Cameron to handle by himself. He needed someone and Clayton was there. Clayton was the only one solely on Cameron's corner while everyone else picked a side.

And then there was Nash. Cameron would constantly think about Nash. The disturbing phone call he had received from Hayes that night was enough to give him nightmares for weeks. Hayes hadn't uttered a word to him and he hadn't heard anything from Nash. All his social media had been disactivated. He had however, spoken to Matthew quite often. Matthew would come and visit every few weeks. Sometimes he'd bring Carter with him. It was nice. It was familiar. He'd also talk to Shawn a lot. Cameron was overjoyed at the news of Shawn and Taylor's engagement. He was even asked to be the best man at the wedding.

Clayton was good to him. He treated Cameron like royalty, and this was something Cameron wasn't used to. Cameron loved Clayton, he really did.

Although, it would be a compete and utter lie if he said he didn't have feelings for Nash anymore.

If only Cameron knew how broken Nash was without him.

//

Cameron stood up from the bed. Clayton had just left. He didn't know where he had went. He walked out of the room.
He walked halfway to the kitchen when his phone rang. He looked at the caller I.D and was surprised at the name that was plastered across his screen.

"I guess Matthew told you then?" He assumed as he answered the phone.

"Look, Jack, I never wanted to hurt Nash okay. I understand if you want to cut me off like Hayes did."

"Cam, I think you know me better than that." Jack Gilinsky said through the phone. "I just wanted to call to ask if you're coming to the Shaylor wedding on Saturday."

Cameron hadn't expected that. Over the past six months he had lost contact with most of the guys. He thought that the news of him being with Clayton would make him loose everyone permanently.

"Thanks Jack. That means a lot. I am really really sorry I hurt Nash. Is he okay?" Cameron asked.

"No. It's a long story that I don't think is appropriate to speak of over the phone. He's been dealing with some.... issues lately. As far as I know most of it's being kept in the family. I only know a little bit of what's going on. Although Matthew found out about you and... Clayton? He started telling everyone. I don't think it's reached Nash yet though." Jack told him.

"I want to tell him person when I get there, I didn't want to risk him finding out from someone else." Cameron confessed.

"Understandable... So this Clayton guy. Is he treating you well?" Jack asked.

"Absolutely." Cameron laughed though he couldn't keep the tears from welling up in his eyes.

"He loves me and I love him." Cameron said, even though he wasn't completely sure of himself.

"Well you know I'm biased. I don't think anyone could love you as much as Nash did but I'm glad that you're happy. Just, one favor though." Jack asked.

"Of course. Anything" Cameron agreed.

"Don't give up on Nash. He's going through a lot of stuff and I know he'll talk to you eventually. Just, if you do talk to him when you're down here, please don't judge him for what he's doing and how he is handling things. Keep an open mind and try to take in consideration what's going on in his head. I know you guys aren't together but you used to be best friends and that must count for something."

Cameron took a few moments to ingest what Jack had just said. There were so many questions he wanted to ask.

"Okay. I hope we can sort things out and be friends again. I miss talking to him." Cameron admitted.

"Okay well. I don't want to keep you any longer. Remember, if you need anything, Jack and I have your back okay. We still love you. No matter what you do okay?" Jack confirmed.

They said there goodbyes and Cameron took a deep breath. This was the first good thing to happen today.

Cameron slowly exited Clayton's apartment and started walking home.