•Benefits• {cash} {boyxboy}

Chapter 92: Bittersweet

3rd person POV

Two weeks had passed since Clayton was killed by the oncoming car. His body was returned to his family and for all intents and purposes the dealings were over. It was over for everyone but Cameron Dallas who had not been the same since. He had sealed himself within the walls of his London apartment and only left for work. He had not spoken to anyone. Not because he didn't want to, but because he didn't know what to say. Even living in the same apartment with Nash, they had spoken very little about how Clayton's life ended.

The thing that upset Cameron the most was how Clayton's family reacted. Cameron was familiar with Clayton's mother, although they had only been introduced as friends. Clayton's mother wasn't very fond of her son's sexual occupation. After much debate, Cameron had convinced Clayton to introduce Cameron as his boyfriend. Clayton's mother was not pleased, at all. In fact Cameron had always thought that she had hated him. And that thought had proved to be correct.

Following the day of his death, Cameron had received a phone call from her. She had condemned him to attend the funeral. She had said that if he had tried to attend, he would be removed as they would have security available. Cameron was devastated that he didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to his late boyfriend. Cameron would constantly wonder why anyone would be so cruel as to refuse attendance at a funeral.

Nash stood at the door to Cameron's room that he had later claimed as theirs. He was dressed in jeans and a blue button up. His five o'clock shadow was heavier than it had been in months. Nash had gotten auditions for movies and was doing very well for himself. He was due to start filming a short movie soon. Filming was only five days away and Nash was worried that with the additional hours of filming it would keep him from being around and protecting Cameron.

"It's 4:30, Cam. You still have time to make it to the memorial before you go to work. I'm sure you're friends at BMA would be glad to see you there," Nash reminded him.

All of Cameron's coworkers were holding a memorial for Clayton. Cameron had been asked to make a short speech.

"I'm not going," Cameron stated.

"Are you going to work tonight?" Nash wondered. "I have the final table read for the short movie so it will be late when I get home."

"Yeah, I'm going," Cameron never turned away from staring out the window. "I have a key so if I beat you home I'll just let myself in."

"Have you talked to any of the guys? They've all been calling me wanting to know how you are," Nash let him know.

"I just don't want to talk to anyone right now," Cameron admitted.

"Okay," Nash said but he decided to not give up.

"A lot of people have been calling to check on you. Everyone back home," Nash began again.

"I don't want to talk to anyone and I'm actually surprised you're talking to me right now." Cameron stated pointedly.

"We both know I was the last person you wanted to talk to," Nash knew how Cameron's brain worked.

Nash sighed before walking over and sitting down next to Cameron in the window seat. It reminded him of the times they would sit and talk in hotel rooms during Magcon. "I know that because you know that I know how you really feel versus what everyone else is worried about."

"What are you getting at?" Cameron wondered as if he really knew.

"Everyone is asking you how you're doing. Asking you if you're okay," Nash stated the obvious. "They don't know what I know. The real question isn't how you feel it's what you feel. You're not upset about Clayton dying. You're angry at yourself for being happy about it."

Cameron didn't turn his head to Nash, he just smiled. "You do know me well." He turned to Nash. "Why did you forgive me? For what I did? How I left you? Why did you say yes to come here with me?" he asked with completely honesty. He was also trying to change the subject. "I broke up with you. I left you. I'm the reason you started taking drugs."

"Because I'm in love with you Cameron," Nash stopped him. "We both have some growing up to do and its growing up we needed to do separately, it was a horrible time for us both but if we didn't go through with that then we wouldn't be where we are today."

"Once upon a time you and I were friends. And I settled for that, but I won't anymore. But we need to figure out what we really need from each other. So that we can help each other," he said as he softly kissed Cameron's cheek.

Nash pulled out a box from his pocket.

Cameron instantly looked up.

"You weren't supposed to find that." Cameron said softly.

Nash chuckled. He opened the box and looked at the ring.

Cameron sighed. "I was going to ask you at the wedding but then..." Cameron trailed off.

Nash nodded. "I know, I just was wondering if you were still going to ask."

Cameron smiled. "It's a surprise Nash."

"It's not really much of a surprise anymore." Nash stated.

"So what are you implying?" Cameron asked.

Nash smiled and slipped the ring on his finger. "I'm implying that we skip the big speech and the getting down on one knee thing."

Cameron sighed. "Nash, take it off, you're ruining the whole marriage proposal thing I had planned for the future."

Nash shook his head. "Don't be so generic Cam." Nash took out another small box and tossed it to Cameron. Cameron caught it and opened it, his eyes went wide.

"Figured if I had a ring, you need one too."

Cameron smiled and examined it. It must've costed a fortune.

"Put it on." Nash said.

Cameron nodded and quickly slipped it on.

"Are we engaged now?" Cameron asked while smiling to himself.

"I don't want to call it that. It's too mainstream. Hell, we don't even have to get married. As long as we have these rings, we know we are together. And we'll be there for each other." Nash stated.

"So like a promise ring but with engagement rings. Romantic Nash." Cameron said with a smirk.

"Something like that." Nash said while walking out.

"Hey Nash?" Cameron called.

Nash stopped, "Yeah?"

"I love you, you know that?"

Nash smiled and looked down.

"I love you too."

Nash then shut the door behind him leaving Cameron with a smirk on his face.

//

QOTD: Worst thing you've ever gotten in trouble at school for?

-Last year. Bunking school during exams (I was stupid i know) I just didn't feel like writing exams.