•Benefits• {cash} {boyxboy}

Chapter 63: Something Big

Shawn's POV

Taylor and I were on a flight back to LA from London. We had enjoyed the past few days together. It felt like it was only us in the world. It was a feeling I didn't want to lose.

We just boarded our rather fully booked plane. I took a seat next to Taylor, who was staring aimlessly out of the window. I saw a small smile on his face.

He glanced over at me. "How do you think the guys will take it?" he asked softly.

"How they will take what?" I asked, completely oblivious to what he was asking.

"That we're getting married." he said holding up his hand and pointing to the gold and diamond ring that was wrapped around his finger.

"Oh right sorry." I said with a small sigh. I was spacing out so much lately. I don't know why. I guess I'm just in my head to much. Maybe I thought that when we got back to LA things would go back to the way they were. And I really didn't want that.

"No I get it. I've noticed that you've been pretty out of it lately. Is anything wrong?" he asked while intertwining our fingers. He then brought our intertwined hands up and kissed the top of my hand. I felt my heart leap.

I took a deep breath. I know that I can tell Taylor what's going on. I know that I should. We are getting married for god's sake.

"I don't know I guess I'm just nervous. I'm just really nervous to go back. I mean, I didn't tell my parents and they probably still think I'm missing person you know? I feel really shit for putting them through all of that. I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to get away and I completely lost sight of everything. I feel like they'll hate me. I feel like they won't talk to me. Same with the guys. Cameron is only one that knew and I don't think he told anybody else other than you, of course. So the guys, the fans and everybody else thinks I'm missing. What if they think I'm dead? What if my parents think they've lost a son, what if my fans think they've lost an idol and what if the guys think they've lost a friend?" I said softly. I could feel my anxiety increase. Stay calm Stay calm.

Taylor squeezed my hand and gave me a reassuring smile.

"Everybody will understand if you explain it how you explained it to me." he said.

I sighed. "Taylor, that won't work. I can't ask them all to marry me. It's different with you." I said.

Taylor looked like he was thinking of something.

"If they don't take it well, I'll always be with you. I will be by your side and I'll stand up for you. I know that what you did wasn't right, but it's understandable. I put you through shit, and you know I am sorry. But you're Shawn Mendes. No-one can stay mad at you. You're adorable." He said with a smile. He then placed a soft kiss on my lips. I smiled into the kiss.

"Thank you Taylor. I do not know what I would do without you."

"God Shawn, I don't know what I would do without you. Even though what you did wasn't good, it had a good outcome. We can be together now. Properly. You and me. No more drama, no more me being an asshole and no more silent treatments or fights okay?" he said.

I nodded.

"I love you so much." He said in a soft whisper.

"I love you too Taylor." I said with a smile.

"So we're planning on telling everybody at Hayes' 15th on Saturday right?" I asked just to make sure I have everything right in my head. I tend to forget things.

"Yep, we make the announcement then, plus, it'll be the best time to do it. The entire Magcon family will be there." Taylor said with a smile. The Magcon family was everything to us. We tried our best to stay in contact after we all left but that just didn't work out. It was just one of those things.

"I just hope everyone will be supportive you know?" I said.

"I'm sure they will be supportive. I mean most of them know about Cameron and Nash and I don't think any of them have a problem with it."
"Yeah you're right I'm just over thinking things sorry." I said softly.
"Hey don't be sorry. It's okay to over think sometimes you know. You shouldn't be worried about their reaction to us being together. You should just be worried about their reaction to you just being there."

"I know I know. And I feel so shit. I just really really hope I can make it up to them."

"And how will you do that?" he asked. He raised an eyebrow.

A small smile crept on my face. "I may have written a song..." I said in a low whisper.

Taylor's eyes widened. "You wrote a song? "He asked,

"Yeah I kind of did. And I'm going to play it for everyone. It's kind of like an apology song. To make up for me leaving and making everyone worry. I made it kind of upbeat and everything." I said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Taylor asked.

"I wanted it to be a surprise. Not only for the guys but also for you." I said with a smile.

Taylor gushed. "You're so sweet you know that?" he said while leaning over and kissing my cheek.

I looked down and blushed.

"At least tell me the name of the song?" he asked.

"Something big."

//

QOTD: What do you think of Shawn's new song?

-I lovvveee itttt!

- Cash book recomendation goes to @ambahmillah 's Afraid.
It's amazing!