The Hobbit ~ Tumblr Challenges

Thorin ~ Anxiety

You knew it would be too much, knew that you wouldn't be able to handle it, and now look, you were a mess, a complete and utter mess curled up on the bed with nowhere to go and nothing to do except wallow in your misery.

Tears were falling down your cheeks as your body seemed to react of its own accord to the emotions waging in you, convincing you that horrible things were about to happen and could happen and that no one cared enough to help you through.

In the back of your mind, you knew these things weren't true, that you could get out of this, that nothing that had happened was your fault, that others were more than willing to help you through this, but this had been silently building for some time now and you'd been trying to fight it off on your own before you finally snapped and settled here, more of a mess than you'd even been.

Turning your head, you buried it into the pillow to try and muffle the loud panicked sobs that left you, wrapping your arms harder around yourself, bringing your knees up to try and make yourself as small as possible so that nothing could hurt you, trying to will it all away.

You were barely aware that there was a knock on the door, or of it opening or the quiet words that followed before it closed, but when a pair of hands touched you, you almost screamed, leaping back.

A bleary outline of Thorin stood there, looking worriedly at you, and this made you sob harder.

His words meant nothing over your cries and yet you didn't resist as he joined you on the bed and pulled you to him, holding you close, stroking your hair, rubbing your arms, talking to you, anything he could think of to try and help you calm.

Some of it must have worked because you found yourself a bit more coherent, enough to talk at least a little.

"I know-" A heart breaking hiccup left you, even as you clung to him desperately. "I know I said I'd never give up on you, but that's exactly what I'm to do."

I low rumble went through Thorin but his actions didn't stop, his hands moving in gentle motions up and down your back, the other keeping you pressed to him. "Nonsense Y/N, you are not giving up on anything."

You shuddered. "I can't keep doing this Thorin, I can't-" Your body reacted again and you curled up tighter, your lungs feeling heavy.

"I know it's frightening my love," He kept his voice quiet. "But I need you to breathe for me, please, breath with me."

"I can't."

"You can." Thorin carefully moves you, so you're pressed against his chest, his heartbeat in your ear. "Focus on me and only me."

You struggled weakly but Thorin's hold was firm, his words reassuring, and slowly you let yourself be drawn to him.

"These times will pass, they are nothing to be afraid of."

"There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to break."

"I love you and I am here for you, whenever you need me."

"Everyone worries for you, my love, no one thinks that you have done anything wrong."

"It's going to be okay, you will get through this. We will get through this."

The more he talked, the more you settled, and although you knew there was still a long way to go, you could at least breathe now, keeping yourself in time with his deep breathes, letting you settle almost into an exhausted slumber, but you kept your grip on him tight.

"Thorin?"

"Yes my love?"

"Thank you."

Soft kisses pressed into your hair. "I am here whenever you need me, whether you think I am or not."

You shivered and Thorin moved to pull the blankets up around the two of you, moving so you could get a little more comfortable and your body could try and relax more.

"I want you to rest now love, let your mind and body rest, it has been through a lot."

A quiet sob leaves you and you bury against him. "Thank you."

"I love you my one, now get some sleep. I am not going anywhere."