The Hobbit ~ Tumblr Challenges

Bofur ~ It hurts...

There were celebrations going on throughout Erebor, the King having finally wed his Queen and it was all anyone could talk about.

You were happy for them, glad to see some joy brought back into them after the long journey here. A stirring in your chest though, made you ache in ways that you never thought that you could.

You'd been on that journey too, had fallen in love like they had, and yet the one you wished to reciprocate it, didn't seem interested.

You wondered the halls alone, letting the sounds of celebration fall behind you, in no mood to really enjoy it on the same level as everyone else.

It wasn't that Bofur was unkind, in fact, he was his normal cheerful self around you, always with a smile and a fit of cheer, no matter the situation. That was what bothered you.

You were treated the same as everyone else.

It was eating you up.

As the sounds finally faded completely, you opened a door and went outside, the warm air hitting you, something unseasonable, but welcome, given that the halls could get quite cool.

You drew in deep breathes and kept walking, not really willing to stop, knowing if you did, your thoughts would catch up with you.

However, about halfway along, you froze, your gaze landing on exactly who you didn't want to see.

Bofur was staring out, a drink in his hands, and uncharacteristically sombre expression on his face.

You debated with yourself on what to do, and just as you decided to try and turn and sneak away, Bofur felt your eyes on him.

"Y/N..." He said a little nervously, straightening up and casting you a smile, but it was different to the normal one.

"Bofur." You said with a slight bow. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, I'll leave you be."

"Wait!" He called as you started to walk away. "Please...please stay."

You looked back at him, looked at the conflict on his face.

Dragging your gaze away, you hung your head a little so you didn't have to look at him. "It's okay Bofur. I-I think I'll head back inside to the celebrations."

You'd managed to get a few steps before Bofur's hand wrapped around your arm. "Y/N, I...I could use some company."

"You don't-"

"I do, I do want you to stay, you just....you caught me by surprise."

Hesitantly, his hand let you go and turned to face him again, watching him give a slight huff as he realised he'd spilt some drink over himself, casting you an embarrassed smile.

"Guess that'll teach me for running with an almost full drink," He chuckles weakly. "Should've just left it where I was."

You tried to fight back the wave of sadness at how careful he was being, but it clearly showed in your expression, his smile fading quickly and he gives a soft sigh, leaning back against the wall.

For a long moment, the two of you stood in silence, you standing a bit away, but listening to his request of staying.

A gust of wind picks up and the sound from the celebrations travels up to the two of you.

"Sounds like they are having a wonderful time." Bofur said quietly. "I'm truly happy for them."

"As I'm I." You said, but didn't go any further.

This makes Bofur frown, his hands griping tightly at his mug for a moment.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

The question took you by surprise, looking at Bofur, but he doesn't face you, keeps his gaze focused straight out as if he hadn't spoken at all, but the sudden tension in his body gave him away.

"I have been busy helping the Queen," You said quietly. "Getting her ready for tonight and for future preparations."

You can just make out him frown slightly. "While I know that is true, it does not answer my question. I've seen you around the others still, with that smile of yours, but never me, not anymore, not....not since the King announced he was courting."

"There is no easy answer Bofur," Your voice dropped even lower, not wanting to have this conversation. "At least not one that I feel will give you what you seek."

Bofur's head tilts a little at this before he turns and faces you, his gaze a little hurt and a little confused. "Try me. Please."

You felt tears begin to prick the corner of your eyes and you furiously blinked them away, keeping your head held high. "I prefer to be busy these days, it means I have less time to focus on my thoughts."

"Why?"

You break away from his gaze only to find him there, his hand reaching out, but falling short as you look back at him, flinching as he does so.

"Because it hurts." You said, your voice breaking. "It hurts too much to think."

"What do you mean?" He asked, going to step a little closer but upon seeing you flinch, he stays where he is. "You can talk to me Y/N."

You shake your head, hanging it as the tears break free, your voice coming as no more than a mumble. "It hurts because I don't think you feel the same."

As the silence dragged out a bit, you wanted to do nothing more than turn and flee, but just as you were about to, Bofur's hand came under your chin, lifting your gaze up to meet his, stunned to find his eyes shining too.

"What made you think that Y/N?" He asked. "I know I've never been...expressive as I should have been, but what would make you think that I do not care?"

"Care and what I am feeling are not the same Bofur." You said, trying to keep a hold of yourself. "And it was easier to-to-"

"To ignore it than find out the truth?" He said and a small smile tugs at his lips. "My Y/N...perhaps if we'd both been braver we could have saved each other so much pain."

You shook your head, not really listening. "Look, Bofur, it's okay, we don't need to say anything. I've accepted it and we can move on, maybe even-"

But Bofur's hands had moved to cup your cheeks, startling you and before you knew it, his forehead was pressed against yours as he smiled.

"I love you Y/N," He said quietly. "And even if you keep trying to talk your way out it, nothing it going to change."

It took a moment for the words to sink in as you stared at him and before you really knew it, your tears started flowing freely, throwing your arms around him as you bury into neck, openly sobbing. Bofur's arms wrapped tightly around you with a soft chuckle, pressing kisses into your hair.

"Stay with me Y/N, because I want nothing more than to be with you."