The Hobbit ~ Tumblr Challenges

Thorin ~ Please don't...

Everyone knew that the recovery of Erebor and Dale would be slow, that both peoples would need time to recover, to rebuild and gather themselves again.

But no one could really expect the effect on certain individuals.

Bard seemed to take things on easily, if a little reluctantly, people happy to see him in the leadership role after the disaster of Lake Town.

Fili and Kili took some time to recover, their wounds great, but eventually they were on their feet, although they still had to take things slowly, but they didn't complain, they were just grateful that they, and each other, were alive.

The one taking it hardest though, was Thorin. Injured, he was taking time to recover, but the few people who he would talk to, quickly realised that more was going on, and after discussion, most assumed that it was a return into the gold sickness, meaning there was a lot of concern for the future of Erebor.

When you arrived with Dis, you were both quick to hear of Thorin's condition, and despite the warnings, you headed straight there.

A gentle knock on the door and a quiet voice telling you to go away was all the answer you needed.

You pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"I said to go away." Thorin said gruffly, hidden in the dark on his bed, buried under blankets.

"And hello to you too." You said, closing the door behind you, Thorin freezing. "I would've thought that you would have a much cheerier reaction after all this time."

"Y/N." Thorin's voice cracked, watching you as you moved to the fire, stoking it and ensuring that warmth was spreading through the room. "When did you get here?"

"Not too long ago." You said, smiling at him warmly. "Long enough to ask how you were and then come straight to you."

He shifts uncomfortably. "You should not have."

"And why is that?" You ask, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "Everyone sounded so worried Thorin, and I have been more than worried, what else did you expect me to do?"

Thorin refused to meet your eye. "Leave me be. I am not worth that Y/N."

You blinked, almost stunned to hear this from Thorin. You moved closer and reach for his hand, but he moves it out of the way, which hurt, but it was clear he was hurting more. "Thorin, I'm not sure what has happened, but as always, I am here for you and not going anywhere."

"And I'm telling you, you do not have to be." He growled.

Sighing, you pat the bed. "Well, tough my love, because you are stuck with me and I intend to help you with whatever you are dealing with."

Much to Thorin's annoyance, you ensured that you weren't going anywhere, no matter how much he grumbled or remained silent when you were around, doing things to make him more comfortable.

In that time, you began to learn more of what happened, many from the quest seemingly reluctant to tell you, even Dis was growing frustrated by it, and, in the end, you both pinned Dwalin down until he told you everything.

It made more sense to you now, and this gave you even greater concern. Dis was worried too, wanting nothing more for Thorin to be back on his feet and running Erebor like you both knew he could.

But it did confirm something for you. This was not gold sickness, this was something more that Thorin was suffering, and it was slowly breaking your heart seeing him down like this.

At least he was getting out of bed now though, you took that as some sort of improvement.

The hard part was going to be getting Thorin to talk.

You went in with breakfast, keeping up the same routine that you had since the day you got back, Thorin's favourite tea steaming hot. You were chewing your lip in nervousness, worried how he was going to react all this.

Not bothering to knock, you opened the door, finding Thorin already up and sitting staring at the fire.

You put the breakfast on the table. "Good morning Thorin, feeling better?"

Thorin grunts in response, the lines under his eyes dark.

You hum, bringing him a cup of tea and then sitting opposite him with your own cup, much to his surprise.

Smiling, you take a drink. "Dis gave me the off so I can spend some time with you, give you some proper company seeing as you've been so cooped up in here."

"You do not have to." He grumbled quietly.

"No, I don't," You take another drink. "But because I love you, I'm willing to put myself through that."

Thorin grunts, but makes no other response.

Sighing, you place your tea down and sit back in the chair, looking at Thorin. The grey seemed heavier in his hair these days and light that usually shone in his eyes was dimmed.

"Thorin," Your voice was quiet, concerned. "I want you to talk to me. Please. Tell me what is wrong. You cannot spend the rest of your days in here."

"Why?" He asked, just as quiet. "Fili can take care of Erebor."

This made you frown. "Fili? He is certainly more than capable, however I know for a fact that he will not when his uncle is more than capable, no matter what he seems to think."

"I am in no state to be ruling Y/N," Thorin's voice started to raise, the cup shaking in his hand. "And I doubt anyone would follow me anyway."

"Because of what happened?" You asked quietly, making him tense. "Because of the gold sickness?"

The desperate glance at you proved you were right.

"Thorin, do you think that everyone will judge you for one moment of weakness?" You asked.

The cup was on the floor as he stood, tea spilling as he breathed heavily. "A king should not be weak."

"One moment does not define a king." You continued. "And I think your actions after that proved how much you are truly worth, that you can fight through something like that and still come out on top, especially against one of the greatest adversaries that we have ever faced."

Thorin stared at you, the flicker of fire in his eyes, breathing hard still, hands clenching. "Y/N, please, you do not know-"

"I know enough." You said and smiled. "And if you think that it makes me love you any less, then you are also wrong."

It seemed like all of Thorin was shaking now and he closes his eyes and shakes his head wildly. "No Y/N, you can't...I-I c-can't let you."

You stand, taking his face gently between your hands. "Thorin..." You waited until his eyes opened to look at you, showing nothing but vulnerability. "Please don't let the past get in the way of the joy you have rightfully earned. Don't let all this control you. We are all here for you. I am here for you."

The sob that broke free from him was a relief, and before you knew it, he was sobbing, sinking into your arms and you cradled him against you, placing kisses against his head while telling him it was okay, rocking him gently.

You knew that things would take time still, but at least this was a small breakthrough for the two of you.