The Hobbit ~ Tumblr Challenges

Thorin ~ True Colours

The last thing that you ever expected, especially on a quest that was so risky and dangerous a part of you thought you might not just survive it, was to fall in love.

It hadn't clicked originally, at least, not the way the few dwarves had described finding their one did, but once it did, it was a thought that you didn't want to let go, even if said one was trying to avoid you like the plague.

It was frustrating, but you understood. Thorin had a responsibility to his Company and to his people, his duty had to come before emotions and feelings and trying to deal with the repercussions that those came with. You didn't like it, but you could tell, in his own small way that Thorin knew too.

Which put you just a little more at ease about it.

Thorin had his own small way of showing affections, such as small smiles only directed at you when you made a certain comment, or small flowers that you often find placed into your pack. It was nice and subtle enough that it didn't get the others of the company talking unnecessarily. There was a time and place for these things and the road wasn't one of them.

The best times you found were when the two of you were on watch, it was safe enough to delve into quiet conversation and in those moments, you learnt more about him than you thought you would in this time.

It grew a little more obvious at Beorn's and then later, Lake Town, Thorin keeping you close to his side, wanting to make sure that you were safe and away from the worst bite of the cold. It started some talk amongst the dwarves, but he was quick enough to quite them.

"They will know when I am ready." Thorin said quietly to you one night, his gaze soft and hand carefully wrapped around yours, as if not to frighten you. "But for now, we need to wait."

It made your heart ache in a way, seeing him so strong and formidable in the face of such adversary, but knowing that deep down, he was soft and gentle and loving, with more care for you than you really know what to do with.

You were in love with Thorin Oakenshield and everyday he seemed to do something that just made it deepen further.

Then you finally made it to Erebor. Then, the impossible happened and Smaug was killed.

Then Thorin changed.

You had all known it was a possibility, that the dragon sickness ran in his family, but you didn't think it would make you feel this broken and helpless.

Those that had suspected what was happening between you and Thorin did there best to comfort you, and for the most part, you stayed strong, but as calls went out for war, it became a lot harder to turn a relatively blind eye.

It was the other thing you didn't expect. War.

Sick as he was, Thorin was showing his affection towards you now, as if it no longer mattered about who was present and the task still ahead.

It was unnerving, as nice as it was, the part of you that wanted it, also knew it was wrong.

This was not your Thorin.

He asked to marry you, for you to become Queen of Erebor, and it took all your effort to tell him that something like was best to wait, till the battle was over.

He didn't take it well.

This was not your Thorin.

The day before battle was hardest. You were always a warrior, but this time, you wanted someone to tell you that it was going to be okay, that everything would work out., that there wasn't the high chance of dying today.

You wanted Thorin to tell you this.

Instead, as the battle roared beneath the walls of Erebor, he demanded that you all stood down.

It was the final straw for you, the final thing in knowing that you may just have to do something risky, something that may break your heart, to get him out of it.

The large hall felt so cold as you entered, your hands clenching nervously by your side, eyeing Thorin nervously at the end of the hall, his gaze distant from the throne, only looking up as you stopped just before him, far enough away that it would take two steps should it go wrong.

You kept yourself held confidently, but not overpowering, not wanting this to be a challenge, and you could tell by his piercing gaze that he was already deciding what your intention here could be.

Swallowing, you spoke softly. "Thorin..."

"Y/N." There was an uncertain bite in his tone, one that made your heart starting to pound faster than what it already was. "What do you want?"

"To speak with you," You continued softly. "If this is how today will go, then I do not want bad blood to be between us."

Thorin frowns. "If you did not wish bad blood, then you would not have refused."

"If you were in your right mind, you would not have asked." You broke away from the anger in his gaze quickly, biting your tongue and cursing yourself for reacting that way.

"You are not helping yourself." He said coldly. "And frankly it disappoints me that my one would react like this."

You took the words, not looking him in the eye as you fought back possible tears that pricked at the corner of your eyes and took a steadying breath.

"I did not come here to fight Thorin," You said. "I just...I felt I had to talk to you, I wanted you to know what I felt and what...what you mean to me."

Thorin remains silent, just watching you.

Drawing in another breath, you finally looked back at him. "No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world." You cringed a little. "And for most of this journey, that's all the two of us have really been, a thought and idea, we've kept it away from the others, and I wanted you to know that those quiet moments that we had together...it made you my world Thorin. You've changed me more than I could ever say and it's not just because I fell in love with you, it's because I saw the real you, the dwarf, not only destined to be King, but also the individual who didn't always have to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Thorin, I promise you I do, but..." You swallowed and felt a hot tear on your cheek, choosing to ignore it. "Please Thorin, hear me, truly, not through a clouded mind. Please come back. This isn't who you are."

The coldness had left Thorin's blue eyes as you focused back on him and you could see him thinking heavily on your words, a slight tremble in his hands. "Y/N..."

You didn't want to hope, but you held his gaze.

"Am...I a monster?"

The break in his voice broke your heart. "No Thorin, you are not. We can still make things right."

He swallows and half nods, his gaze breaking away with a slight frown. "I...leave me for a little while. Please. I need to..."

His voice drifts off and you only hold for a moment before you nod. "Of course my love, I will be waiting for you, as I promised."

Your heart was still racing as you left the hall and it wasn't until you were out of sight that you wiped the tears from your cheeks, hoping, despite yourself, that it had been enough, that the Thorin you all knew would come true again and help put an end to all this madness.