Reverse BatFam Trash

Tim Gives His Hot-Take On Kidnapping-Insurance

-A little Tim-centered Short for ya.-

Ages

Tim - 12

Barbra - 8

(I literally mention them once, but Damian is fifteen, and Jason is nine)

Tim was still uncomfortable at Galas. To be fair, they all were, the whole family. But they had to keep up appearances (especially since one or two of them would sometimes just fall off the grid for weeks at a time). 

One of the things that made Tim so uncomfortable was being a preteen; he didn't fit with the grownups. He got very tired of rich old ladies obsessively commenting on how handsome he was, and not being able to participate in literally any conversations. None of the adults believed that he actually studied the stock marked as a hobby, or that he taught himself all about economics and stuff for school.

He sat on an unoccupied fold-out chair and waited for anything interesting to happen.
Little Barbra Gordon had come that night. Her dad always had to work, and the Waynes were always the most available babysitters, since at least one of them was usually free at any given time.
Tim scanned the lower half of the crowd, looking for the commissioner's daughter running around.

"HI Tim!"

He jumped, which hard to do while sitting.
"Barbra!"

"Whatcha doing?" She asked, hiking up her -frankly adorable- blue party dress. She was even wearing sparkly purple lip gloss, stick-on earrings and a pretty hair clip that apparently belonged to her Mom.

"Just sitting down for a bit." He gave her a genuine smile. "I'm a little bored."

"Yeah, me too." Barbra was certainly energetic-bored, bouncing around in her sneakers. "I'm going to go exploring!"

"Don't get lost." Tim reminded as she ran off.

"Mkay!"

He leaned against he chair back-rest. Just as it seemed nothing would happen, the heard a cluster of rich kids assemble near him, and he caught a clip of their conversation.

"I'm kind of pissed as my mom, cause she said my Kidnapping insurance was probably, like, 50,00."

Tim opened one eye.
"Hmm?"

"Oh. Hi." The boy, who was about ten, looked at him.

"What are you guys talking about?" Tim was always surprised by rich-kid talk.

"Kidnapping insurance."

"oh."

"Mine is only 50,00." He rolled his eyes. "What about yours?"

The crowd of kids turned to him expectantly, none of them could be older then ten. Tim didn't know what any of this meant. He'd been teaching himself everything he'd need to know; stocks, investments, trust funds, loans... Why the hell had he never heard of kidnapping insurance? He felt stupid to not know whater this kid knew
"Oh, uh... I don't, have any."

"Really?  Why?" another child asked. 

"I dunno, I don't need it..?" Tim felt uncomfortable.

"Doesn't your dad care if you're kidnapped?"

"You guys HAVE been kidnapped before." I snotty-nose boy commented. "Why haven't you got it?"

"Well, things always work out." Tim shrugged.

"What if they don't?"

"They always will." Tim wasn't sure about that, but being older meant he got the last say. "If kidnapping insurance is so important, everyone should have it, not only rich people."

"Rich people get kidnapped mote."

"Actually, as of a statistical survey last may, people in poverty are a lot more likely to be abducted."

"But that doesn't matter."

"Why?"

"Well know one talks about it."

"That's because no one cares! No one talks about hundreds of Women and people in poverty being kidnapped because it's less sensational."
Tim launch into a rant, all because he didn't want to admit he didn't know what 'kidnapping insurance' was.

Tim spent the rest of the night playing hide-and-seen upstairs with Damian, Jay, and Barbra, until everyone left ad it was bedtime.
He hopes at least one kid left there convinced that Tim knew what he was talking about