The Deathly Scream - 𝟙

༒ Thirty-five༒

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After another day of class and fighting arguments with Ezra, I finally had time to do what I wanted which meant spending time with Jade in her bedroom. Normally we always used to hang out in my room, but there was something about this tiny space that made me feel more free than I had ever been. Another benefit was that my father had no clue where to find me. Actually no one did.

Jade decided to learn me how to paint in her free time, but we figured out soon enough that painting wasn't my talent. I was horrible to be honest but I loved spending time with my best friend, we could gossip about everything that was going on, including our own feelings. Well ... most of them.

After Jade explained her past to me we became closer and I could understand her reaction to certain things better. We agreed that Ezra was a jerk, but we couldn't blame his descent for that. Jade was the living prove.

'I think Levi finally notices me', Jade says dreamy when she draws another sketch for a painting. 'I believe that', I reply, thinking back of last night.

'He asked me to join him and other soldiers to the village, we need new stock. First I thought he asked me for help but he told me that he loved my company', she explains, her cheeks turning a little red as usual.

'I am really happy for you', is all I can say when I lay down my brush to get a look of my canvas. My painting was a bigger mess than my feelings.

'Is something wrong, Rosa?' Jade turns to look at me like she has been doing all morning. But I ignore it. Nothing is wrong I only have to find myself again.

'Is this is about Levi...' She asks unsure. I turn immediately to her, my eyes widening a little. 'No, no definitely not. I am happy for you, really', I assure her. And I am honestly happy for her. 'Good', she mumbles unconvinced.

'I'm only confused. My sister and I aren't really talking and everyone expects from me to do something great and that isn't up to me', I sigh, laying down on her bed. She joins me after a few seconds, our shoulders touching each other.

'Maybe you should talk to Valentina, explain how you feel'.

'You think she will listen?' I ask with my thoughts far away.

'You are sisters, she should listen to you. Even if she doesn't, you at least tried', she remarks. It makes sense, but it can't fix all my problems. I can't explain the feelings I have, they don't have anything to do with her. I need to find a way to be myself again and try to hide in the shadows. There is my place.

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The next day I make the hideous decision to look for my sister and try to talk to her. After all, Jade is right. Valentina is my sister and all I can do is try to support her. But she isn't the easiest person to talk to, not at all if it is about the Selection.

I softly knock on the door of her bedroom, waiting until someone would open. But no one does. I knock again, louder this time and hear footsteps immediately behind the door, showing Olivia's irritated face once she opens it.

'You', she says surprised before I walk past her, ignoring the face she gives me. On her balcony, my sister sits in a comfortable chair, reading intensively through some books.

'She is busy', Olivia calls from behind me, but I ignore her again and open the double doors towards the balcony, Valentina looking up in surprise.

'Can we talk?' I ask quickly before she can say anything. Val closes her book and nods that I can sit down on the chair next to hers. I've never been on this balcony before, but she does have a great view. On the field beneath us, the soldiers are practising their fighting skills again, others are doing exercises. I stare at them for a while, not knowing what I'm doing here. Instead I take a look at the books on the table, all history books. A vague smile appears on my face and Val notices it too, changing her position uncomfortably.