Arcane

Chapter 95

Embers pov

-

I should get up today.

I should make sure everything is set and everybody is coming in 3 days.

I've been in bed for 4 days now.

I know Harry is worried.

I know this isn't healthy.

I know I should call my mom.

I should call someone.

But I can't. I can't move. I'm stuck to this bed like I have been the last 4 days. I barely get 2 hours of sleep each night, because every time I close my eyes I see him. I thought this was over. My freak outs, my nightmares, my panic attacks.

I want to yell, I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to say anything. I want to say everything. But I just can't seem to find the strength to just say something.

"I have a few meetings to go to today." Harry says, just like all the other days. When he wakes up he kissed me on the cheek, saying good morning and talking to me as if everything is alright. He tells me his plans for the days and promises to bring me something from his day so if feels like I was there with him.

The first night it was mint chocolate chip ice cream, my favorite.

The second night was a cat toy because he had been to the pet store for Finny.

The third night was a ring because he had passed a jewelry store on his way home, I hadn't put it on yet. I haven't even seen it yet because I can't even roll off my side away from the window. From his descriptions it's gold and has a small heart on it.

"I'll get some flowers maybe, the buildings right next to this really pretty floral place." He says while putting on his button up, zipping up his jeans and putting his vans on. He climbed on the bed and hesitated before kissing my cheek. "I'll be home soon okay?"

I didn't say anything, guilt immediately filling my chest as he left the room, a few minutes passing until the front door closed shut. I don't know why I don't say goodbye, it's seems like too much effort. I know if this keeps going I'll lose him eventually, it's not like I want to be like this.

It's just like I can't get out.

Finny hasn't left my side throughout the days, she refused to leave to the point where Harry had to bring her food bowls on the bed so she would eat and drink. She reminds me to eat, nudging me until I roll over and grab some of the snacks Harry would leave on the night stand. It was mainly junk food, making me feel worse already.

It'd be so easy to go downstairs and eat something healthy like a salad, but I couldn't get myself to. Time passed relatively fast as I watched the life outside the window, people rushing to get to work, couples walking the sidewalks together, friends having lunch and catching up.

Our wedding is in 3 days, and I'm stuck in bed.

There's nothing more I want then to celebrate the upcoming milestone in my life with Harry.

I hear the door open downstairs, meaning Harry is home again. Even though the only thing that happens when he's home is him coming upstairs and sleeping behind me, I still look forward to it.

Him being in my presence makes things more bearable.

But I hear another voice, a female voice, an older female voice. It's familiar, footsteps outside my bedroom and some talking before the door opens.

"I'm home Ember" Harry's soft voice said out loud, and I feel the bed shift with his weight as he kisses my cheek in hello. He rubs my back as a tear falls from my eye, and I feel his thumb wipe it away lovingly. He sighs sadly and clears his throat.

"Someone came to visit."

Who?

"It's your mom, Ember."

My mom?

"Can she come in?"

Please let her in.

He climbed off the bed and opened the door, the noise of my moms cluttered purse on her side filling the dark room. As soon as she saw me I heard a sigh leave her lips, "My baby" she whispered, a small tone of pain in her voice.

"Do you know what's wrong?" Harry asked in desperation, I know he was concerned and worried for me. I wish I could explain it to him.

My mom hummed a yes, "It's just her bad days Harry."

She paused, "You are okay right? No bad days?"

Bad days.

That's what she calls it's when I get into an episode. Not a big deal, just get sad sometimes, who doesn't?

He took a sharp inhale of breath, "I- I'm sorry I don't understand."

"I'll explain later. Can you be a dear and head downstairs and make some tea for us please?" My mom requested, Harry hurrying off to do so.

I heard my mom take her shoes off and set her purse on the floor. She sat down by me, saying hello to Finny. "There's my favorite bride to be" she says to me, reminding me of the wedding.

"Hi mum" I whisper, it taking all of my strength to do so. I sniffle a bit, shutting my eyes. "Ah, she speaks." She exclaims softly, rubbing her hand up and down my arm. "Can you sit up for me, dear?" She didn't wait for an answer, having no trouble in picking me up gently and leaning my back against the wall.

I brought my knees to my chest, looking up at her and hating the way she looks at me. I ignored the way her eyes softened and her expression changed, the way her mouth turned downwards in a frown as soon she saw my face.

I probably looked a mess, my hair messy from not showering, my face a mess from the makeup I had left from four days ago, my clothes dirty and my face pale. My eyes were probably as dark as a raccoon, and puffy from all the numb crying.

She moved her hand to wipe away a tear from my wet cheek, her head tilting to the side. I closed my eyes as I felt her warm hand against my head, leaning into the small touch I had craved the last few days. "My daughter"

I sighed, feeling a bit of relief as she kissed my forehead.

The door opened once again, Harry coming in with a cup of tea in his hands. The look on his face when he saw me sitting up was full of love.

"There she is."