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Amari


"Are you fucking serious?!" I yelled from the from the front door of my apartment building. He stopped in his tracks before the words left my mouth.

"You are done with who? With what exactly Eric?"

"You already moved your shit. Cleaned out Aden's room too." He said walking towards me.

"How do you know?" I asked looking up at him.

"Cameras." He said stepping closer.

"What else can I say. I just want you to be happy." He said with the saddest eyes.

"Happy? You don't get to walk away from me babe. You hurt me."

"Hurt you?" He said now yelling.

"Yes Eric Hurt me? Fuck you think I dont hurt?" I said yelling back.

"Amari I have been hurting I have been fucking begging you to love me the way I loved you. I get it..." he paused to take a breath. His chest heaved up and down which honestly scared the shit out of me.

"I get it. You work for the company that I now am the CEO of. I know what people will say and think about you Amari. I may not have to go through it but I get it. And answer this... have you ever thought about how it affects me?" He asked now folding his arms.

"I..." I stuttered.

"I haven't because I was worried about you. I saw how worked up you got...You were going to have an abortion. You have always made choices for you."

"Now I want to make this one for us."I said bucking up against him.

"You had your fun in New York but now it's time to figure this out. I love you I just don't know how to be happy..." I started.

"I always have had to do everything on my own. I have to protect myself so when I felt like I had to protect you it took over everything." I said grabbing his face and making him look at me.

"I love you. I'm in love with you and I am so sorry that I made you think anything different." I said without crying and while looking him in his eyes.

"I'm sorry I was so... I apologize for not being in the moment..."

"It's not that simple anymore..." he said before licking his lips.

"We we were never that simple. But I don't want it to be as simple as a pick I'm an a drop off." I said trying to keep my voice stable.

"So what do you want to do. I say that you are going back to work. They told me that wanted to transfer what's that about?" He asked now walking over to the door and leaning on the door. I watched him fold my arms . He looked me up and down before his eyes fell to the ground.

"I was trying to protect myself... or what I thought was going to be best for me and the babies. So I took back the resignation and I asked a few questions about going back to Atlanta." I said being honest.

"Are you leaving?" He asked slowly dragging his eyes from the ground up to mine.

"I was. I was being irrational when I found out that you really left. That's why I packed up... I should have called you, that was wrong of me."

"I didn't need to leave the way I did. I apologize for that. I was just... tired. Felt like I was fighting for this alone. Still does." He took a deep breath.

"Do you want us to work?" I asked.

"I do. I really do. I want a family but I want you to want it too. I feel like I'm forcing myself on you. We don't want the same things." He continued. I took a deep breath and placed my hand on my hip and then my back. He stated something similar many times before but this time was the first time I actually heard him.

"I love you. I'm afraid." I said again.

"I have always had to go through things by myself..."

"When I tell you I love you do you hear me?" He asked. Eric was now standing straight up and slowly walking towards me.

"Yes." I responded softly. The closer he got the more I began to look in every direction except his.

"What else's do I need to do to show you that you don't have to do anything alone. What do I need to do?" He said with tears in his eyes. I looked down at my feet before he used his hand to to raise my chin. We stood in silence for a while before I spoke.

"Know that I love you too. That I I'm so sorry that it's not easy for me to show but being without is not an option for me. I got wrapped up in keeping you safe from all of the stuff that I know is about to happen... I know you are going back to New York tonight... she can't have you..." I said making myself clear.

"What?"

"Have your fun. Get me back. But she can't have you. This isn't where we end."

"You sure?"

" I know what you go back to New York with you. She isn't me so that's what you need to do to make yourself feel whole or to make it seem like we're even, have your fun."

"And when I get home?"

"We move. We have our life."

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