Who? (Jungkook FF)

Chapter 58

I get up and go straight to the kitchen. I pull out the sharp knife from the knife holder and return to sit on the sofa.

I hold the knife at my side. In my rage, the knife is shaking in my hand.

I'll wait here until he comes back, and then I'll kill him.

I swear, I will fucking kill him.

I'll kill him!

My phone rings, and my eyes flicker. I know it's Taehyung.

He must want me to stop. But I couldn't. I really want to kill that bastard!

My phone stops ringing for a brief moment, but then starts ringing again.

I know what I am doing will put Taehyung in danger. If I fail to kill Jungkook, I will drag Taehyung into a problem. Fuck!

But I want to kill him so badly.

My eyes start to shed tears again. I want to do it so much, but for Taehyung's sake, I have to stop.

I bite my lip and close my eyes.

I won't be able to do it. Taehyung will be in danger because of me.

I open my eyes again. I shake my head miserably. I really won't be able to do it.

I groan and throw the knife away, making a metal sound as it touches the floor.

My chest feels so tight, so I gasp, and then I start crying in misery.

How can I continue to live with someone who killed my mother and act like I don't know?

I have to sleep with him, looking at him every day. How can I do that anymore?

I'm worried if I'm acting out of character for him and he notices it and forces me for a reason. Taehyung will be in danger.

Then, what else can I do?

I realise how helpless I am, so my shaky breath escapes out of my mouth.

I don't want to live like this, but I can't do anything.

My body starts to tremble at how much I don't want to live now.

At this point, I even hate myself too. I wish I was never born.

I start to scratch my arm with my sharp nails.

I just really hate myself!

My skin starts reddening and itching, but I keep doing it until my skin starts bleeding.

I realise what I was doing doesn't erase the pain in my heart.

There is an uncontrollable outpouring of tears, and I start to wail pathetically.

When I put my hand on my belly, I just remember the baby.

I stop crying and my eyes sharpen in anger.

The baby that he wants to be born so much. He killed my mother, and I'll kill his baby in return!

Even if I have to die to kill this baby, I'll do it! I don't want to live anyway.

I get up, looking for the knife that I'd thrown.

I found it under the cushion on the floor.

I grab it with my two hands and point at my baby bump.

My eyes are on my baby bump. My heart can't do it. But what other option is left?

If I keep living, I don't know what I'm going to do any way.

My heart hurts at how I know I will never have a normal life again. Not even after my contract with Jungkook ends.

There's no light in my life anymore and never will be. Why should I live, then?