1D Sexual Frustrations

Harry : Intense

I sat in the big chair at his desk, pen in hand, looking at the small piece of paper in front of me. I couldn’t keep this up any longer, especially as things were becoming so serious. I was getting worried he was going to ask me to marry him, so if I wanted things to go any further, I knew I needed to tell him. 

- - - - -

Just over a year ago, Harry and I went on holiday to Indonesia. We spent 2 weeks in a picturesque villa: candle lit dinners in the gardens, late night skinny-dipping. It was beautiful. One day when roaming around a traditional market, we came across a trinket stall. They sold all types of intricate metal and wood items; small teapots with monkeys on the lid, silver bangles, tiny wooden turtles, all sorts. As we browsed, I saw Harry pick up a very small metal treasure chest, smaller than the palm of my hand. 

"Secret treasure chest Sir. It will hold all your secret.” Spoke the frail old lady who owned the stall. 

Seeing Harry speaking to the woman, I crossed back towards him and picked up another of the treasure chests from the table. They were so precious: dark silver metal, with mother of pearl on the lid, and an elephant carved into it. The sides were covered in tiny engravings and little added silver triangles and circles. I brushed my finger over the elephant, feeling the ridges in the mother of pearl. 

"They’re beautiful! Can I buy two please?" Harry asked the lady. 

I looked up from the small chest in my hand, and placed it back onto the table, as I watched Harry pay. The lady wrapped up two of the chests in some cream coloured cloth, and put them in a bag. Harry turned his head and grinned at me, dimples coming into view. He reached forward and held my hand lightly as we left the stall and continued through the quiet market.

"One for me, and one for you. So if there is ever anything you can’t tell me, you can just write it down and put it in my treasure chest. And I’ll do the same for you. So we never have to keep a secret from each other." He leant down slightly and kissed the side of my forehead. 

"I love it. Thank you so much” I stopped and returned the kiss, throwing my arms around him. “I’ll never keep a secret from you!" 

- - - - -

The small piece of paper I had cut up stared blankly at me. Ever since Harry bought the chests, we had only ever used them for silly things. Mine was on my dressing table in our room, and his was on his desk in the study. After we got in a meaningless fight once, I wrote an 'I'm sorry' note and put it inside. And another time, when I had a silly crying strop about wanting to loose weight, Harry left a note saying 'you don't need to loose a single pound for me’, along with a sugar covered cola bottle sweet inside my chest. We never used them for serious things. Not like this. 

I had been wanting to just man up and tell him to his face for ages now, but I never had the courage. I was taking the coward’s way out, and I knew it.
The guilty feeling in my stomach was overpowering. The butterflies were painful. I knew this could all go wrong. He would probably leave me, and I’d have to move out, or he would move out. I didn’t know what would happen, but keeping this lie was consuming me. I felt completely disconnected from my own body, as I watched my hand scribble ink black words across the paper. Putting the pen down, my eyes focused on the betrayal scrawled in front of me. I sat for a while, just staring at the words. Realising the havoc I was about to cause. I folded the paper in half, and in half again, and opened the small chest. It fit inside perfectly. I felt ashamed. I closed the tiny latch, and placed it in the middle of the desk, in front of the keyboard. A deep sigh left my body. Now all I had to do was wait. 

I decided I didn’t want to sit in the kitchen or living room. I didn’t want to have to fake a happy greeting when he came home. It didn’t seem right. It was only 4pm, and still sunny outside. I decided to sit on the beanbags at the bottom of the garden. The back of the study was sliding glass doors, which looked over the garden, so I would see him enter the room, and open the chest. I knew I wouldn’t be able to watch his reaction. I picked up my book, and made my way to the bottom of our small garden.