1D Sexual Frustrations

Zayn : Vulnerable

He sat across the table, his head hung low with nothing to be said. I’d lost count of the amount of times i’d questioned what was wrong.

"Just leave it." He’d mumble, taking another bite of his food. He wouldn’t even look me in the eye. Wouldn’t smile. Wouldn’t talk. I placed my fork on my plate, watching his every move in silence. The clock on the kitchen wall kept ticking, every second more painful then the last.

"Is it something I did?" I finally whispered, no longer able to hold my worry inside. He kept eating, taking slow bites as he ignored my question. "Zayn-"

"You know it’s not always about you." He slammed his fist down on the table, making us both jump. He seemed taken back by his anger, looking me in the eye for a mere second before pulling his gaze back to his plate. "I’m sorry." He mumbled, his voice cracking.

My heart beat raced as I tried to regain my composure from his tiny outburst, not used to seeing that side of him. He was always cool, calm and collected; never bothered by anything in the world. “You don’t have to be.”

He shook his head before standing up and collecting both of our plates, heading towards the kitchen. I sat in my chair as I listened to the sound of them being placed in the sink, followed by the sound of running water. I slowly got up and made my way towards him, lingering in the doorway as I watched him from a few feet away. He was gripping the counter with both hands, his head hung low. “Why am I not good enough for them?” He took a shaky breath as I approached him, though I still kept my distance. “I’m not-” he paused, and I knew he was fighting to keep his emotions in check. “I’m not a fucking terrorist.” He whispered, bringing his hands up to his face and then running them through his hair.

I took a final step towards him, resting my hand on his back as he turned around. My heart shattered as tears cascaded down his cheeks, his eyes stained red. I took a deep breath, trying not to crumble from seeing him so broken, and brought my hands up to wipe his tears away.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" I spoke quietly, afraid my voice alone would break him even more. His cheeks were soft as I cupped them in my hands, his stubble tickling my palm. "Do you know how many people love you and know who you are and would drop everything just to see you smile?" My throat tightened as I spoke, his emotionless eyes glued to mine, and I suddenly realized that my words were more than just a filling for his heart. They were a matter of life and death.

"Don’t let them win, Zayn." I leaned on my toes as I reached up to kiss both his cheeks, closing my eyes as I wished his tears away. "Please." My voice broke as I planted my lips on his, wanting to be enough for him, but I worried that I wasn’t.

"I love you so much." I placed the heels of my feet back on the ground, wrapping my arms around him as I leaned my head against his warm sweater. He smelled like cigarettes, something I despised when I’d first met him, but grew to love. Everything about him I just… Loved. Absolutely everything.

I closed my eyes as his arms finally wrapped around me, his chin resting on the top of my head. “Do you know how many lives you’ve saved?” I asked, gripping onto the loose fabric of his sweater. He shook his head. “A hundred. A thousand. A million” I breathed out, feeling his heart beat slow down to a steady pace. “You’ve saved every girl who goes to see you and the boys perform. You’ve saved every girl who sits at home, lying in her bed as she blasts her music, pretending she’s there. But you’ve also saved one girl in particular, who’s always been watching from the sidelines, and who always will be.” I looked up at him, my chin resting against his chest as my body leaned into him. “Every day that I get to wake up to you, is another day where you’ve saved my life.”

He leaned down, colliding his lips to mine as he placed his hand on the back of my neck. “I love you.” He mumbled between kisses, gripping onto my waist as he pulled me up against him, making sure my legs were wrapped around his body before carrying me down the hall towards our bedroom.