Sentiment {Sherlock BBC}

86. "Cope."

Sherlock's POV

"Good morning, Mr. Holmes."

I opened my eyes and saw a nurse standing over me.

"Um. Uh." I stuttered as I looked around the room to see John, Tori, my parents and kids. Mycroft stood at the window. "What's? What's going on? Is Liz alright?"

"Um." The nurse said and looked at everyone else.

"What?" I sat there, knowing the answer.

"Liz didn't make it to the hospital." My mom's voice rang in my ears. I shook my head.

"And I did?!" I growled.

"Your heart stopped, but you came back." John pointed out. I looked up at the ceiling and Mycroft walked over.

"Liz would've made it if they would have let my group take care of her." He glared at the nurse.

"You aren't certified-,"

"Who gives a damn! It is over. There's nothing we can do!" I yelled.

"Sherlock-," John began but I shook my head again.

"No!"

Two Years Later

I pulled out my needle once again, injecting slowly this time. It stung. It always stung, but the pain was nothing compared to what I felt when she left. I pulled the needle back out and noticed my phone vibrating on the table next to me. Was it vibrating? Or was I shaking? I picked it up and the words were blurry, although I still managed to hit accept.

"What?"

"Hello to you too." John's voice snapped.

"Oh. Hi."

"Your kids are doing fine. Thanks for asking."

"They're not MY kids. They're... they're our kids." I sneered.

"Right. Are you going to come visit them?"

"No."

"Why not?" John asked. I could hear the anger pulsing in his voice.

"Because I shant."

"Shant?"

"Should not."

"Right. I'm calling Molly."

"No. You're. Not." I listened for a response but got nothing. It took me about two minutes to realize the noise I was hearing was the ringing of a disconnected phone call. I hung up and tossed my phone on the floor.

It only took Molly fifteen minutes to pick me up and take me back to the hospital. I sat on the counter and she glared at the results on the screen.

"How could you do this!"

"Molly-,"

"No! How could you do this to your kids? I understand what you're going through, Sherlock. The loss of a loved one is common! They are supposed to overcome it and carry on. That's what Liz would have wanted you to do! She would have wanted YOU to raise YOUR kids, but no! You went and threw your kids at John. Because you were scared you would hurt them!" she barked.

"Molly, I can't do it by myself."

"Yes, you can! And you are not alone. You have John, Mycroft, your parents, Liz's pa-,"

"They want nothing to do with me."

"Why?"

"They blame me for her death..." I cried.

"Of course they do," She sighed.

"I don't know how to handle this. I've never felt like this, Molly."

"You'll get through this. We all are here for you. Right now, you need to get cleaned up and take your kids home. They need to be raised by their father, or they'll grow to despise you. And I know you sure as hell will not to be able to handle that." She sighed.

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This is short, but the next few chapters won't be. This was just a transition-like chpater. 

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