Amy: Day 9,The time zone change brought me back to a morning again and I was stunned how much I really wished time to fly faster. The heat was still burning in me despite the air conditioned airport building, where I saw Renjun, dressed casually, like he always did, black jeans and the same worn out dark geen jacket.
He turned to me, smiled, his lovely tooth showed, he waved, I waved back.
I tried my best, to get the things I left, behind me, the Mark I left.
"Hi, I'm so happy," Renjun stretched his hand out and I shook it.
"Hi," I whispered.
"So, ym, come the car is here, I have a tour guide, he speaks English well," Renjun walked towards the front door.
I was pulling my small suitcase behind me hoping things will be ok, I had booked a room in the same hotel Renjun was staying at in the village in the mountains.
We reached the car, a van that had a lot of years on it's back. The driver helped me to fit the luggage inside while the guide, a man in his forties shook my hand.
He started to talk about things to see, he was talking all the time, while me and Renjun stayed quiet sitting on the backseat as far from each other as possible. Why am I here, this thought crossed my mind.
No, I was doing the right thing, the purpose of the book was finding real love and I was stuck in a relationship based on sex, so something deeply platonic, deelpy metaphorical was a great change, and still, I could kiss Renjun, maybe, I glanced at his face.
The ride was bumpy and log, led up and up till I was tired and dizzy also because the jet lag was kicking in.
'Are you ok?' Mark's message appeared on my phone and I felt a tingling in my stomach.
'Yes, alright and heading towards the village, the weather is ok, the guide is too talkative but does his best,' I wrote back.
I really hoped this message will make him write less often.
Yes, I needed my distance, from everything connected with him.
The dusty road, the beautiful views, and snow over the mountains all suddenly seemed so distant when I leaned my head at the seat and stared through the window. The guide shut up, finally, and Renjun stayed as quiet as before, I knew it was just longing when I closed my eyes while my hand rubbed the rough surface of the backseat searching for Mark's warm hand.
We stopped next to the biggest building in the village and Renjun led me in to floor three where I opened my room with the feel of some odd strangeness.
"Ym, we can, ym go somewhere, eat or..." Renjun stopped not far from me.
"Thank you, I need a short nap I'll see you later," I shut my door behind me.
I threw my shoes away and fell on the bed too exhausted to even try to have a shower.
I placed my phone on the sheet next to me.
Yes I needed to be strong, my life was more important than my body's needs, so I decided to not to call Mark.
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