Sicheng: Day 23, People hate Monday mornings. The moment when the whole city gets up to start another work week. I'm blessed to choose my own work hours. I'm blessed in so many ways. We got a house on the hills from the publisher, who wanted us to see how the glamorous love live happens. If it happens.
I was walking through the living room watching the city lights glittering in the distance. Yes, it seemed like the best holiday still I couldn't focus that much, too worried about Renjun. The boy landed in London that was the last thing I've heard from him. I really wished he would be more talkative, at least let people who care about him know where he is.
He was my beloved little brother and I wouldn't stand him hurt, but he was hurt by her and I knew she had no choice but to break his heart. She loved Mark, it was so obvious, they were meant to be.
I felt a gentle movement behind me and the pouf I was sitting on bent a little.
My skin reacted with goose bumps immediately. I always believed I like girls, till he happened. I always thought I'm too afraid to have sex, till he touched me.
I know I wasn't his first one and sometimes I felt burning pain thinking about all this other people who had my Yuta before me.
His breath was quickened, his lips so soft on my neck. He sucked gently, inch by inch and I leaned my head back just diving into pleasure.
"Yuta how was your first real kiss?" I asked and he let go of my skin that felt cold immediately.
"I love you," he answered biting my ear and kissing it.
"Why can't you answer," I asked turning to him.
"Because my one and only will be sad," Yuta lowered his head.
"I know I wasn't the first," I stopped feeling how my stomach twisted like beaten.
"Yor are the first, the first and only real love," said Yuta when I looked at him.
"I'm looking for the meaning of love, I try to understand it more and more," I said.
"Am I not doing enough?" he asked licking over my lips, the goose bumps on his tongue so ticklish and nice.
"But how had love treated you before you met me?" I asked.
"Bad," he said and his smiled faded.
"What to you mean?" I lifed his chin but he looked away from me.
"My mum was very demanding, I was never good enough for her, my father very strict, I was never manly enough for him," he said and I felt like going crazy.
How could they not accept the most amazing human ever created.
"I moved countries to be far away from them," he continued. "I had people back home, nothing serious, just so, to get a little forgetting, but where I moved I got into new trouble with my best friend," he went red.
A silence fell and I observed him removing my hands from his face. I waited patiently while he was battling with his thoughts.
"He was using me sexually," whispered Yuta and I felt I can't breath anymore. "He just... he knew people in the company I was and he told me he will help me to get each job I want if I help him out," Yuta breathed in sharply. "He was a little nympho, needed it a lot but he couldn't date officially so doing it with his 'best friend' was the best option for him. I needed money, I needed a place to stay, I knew no matter what I have to go through I won't go back to my parents, so I agreed. He was also helpful, was there for me when I needed someone, but at night he was a different man. He was rough, sometimes brutal, I did everything he asked me to. I never complained, never said a thing, was happy when he didn't call me to come over, when he did I just packed fresh clothes and took a taxi to his place. It continued for three years till I was strong enough to tell him I won't ever do it again," Yuta was speaking with his head low, his voice cracking.
I had no idea what to do.
"Why.... how did you find the strength to get out of it?" I asked feeling hot tears on my cheeks.
"I've met an angel, someone who made me feel safe and special, someone I never ever wanted to cheat on or lie to. And when I met him I knew I never ever want to be with any other," Yuta looked up as cried out as me and I grabbed his face in my hands pulling him into a rough kiss.
I needed to show him how much I cared, how much I was hurt to hear the whole story. How could he, I really wished to find this guy and hurt him as much as he had hurt my one and only.
"Sicheng I'm sorry, I though if you find out you'll be disgusted...."
"Yuta! Never dare to think about yourself like this," I pulled him closer kissing him over and over.
"But my skin," he said.
"Your skin is blessed, ok. It's as pure as the first kiss, and I love every inch," I started to kiss him deeper, pulled him in my arms and hugged as much as it was possible, with my arms being faint and skinny and his shoulders board and strong.
He let go of my lips and sobbed into my shoulder and I caressed his back and hair whispering delicate words, showing him how beautiful he is.
He never deserved to be treated that bad, no one does. Why do people do it, use someone's body for money and pleasure, for other things when it should be love, the only reason, the one and only reason to hold someone as close as I was holding him.
"I love you," I whispered right into his ear.
From today on I'll try to work even harder to show you all my love, to be even more gentle, so you won't ever need to worry about someone touching you in a bad way again. I promise.
Ups! Tento obrázek porušuje naše pokyny k obsahu. Před publikováním ho, prosím, buď odstraň, nebo nahraď jiným.
