Renjun: Day 18, I guess I will smash my phone like I did with the laptop, I guess I can't take in more pain, still this image can't leave my mind. The way her face carried serenity, totally relaxed, as static beautiful as a masterpiece, but it seemed so fresh, and she was smiling a little smiling in her dreams. Each detail of her told me she's happy, the way her hands and legs silently rested aroud him, I know they had done it long time ago and keep doing it constantly. But it's different to know and to see. The image hurts more. She loves him, she probably can't admit it to herself, but it's so obvious. And he loves her, that's something so obvious between them, something like between Yuta and Sicheng, you don't need to be very good at reading people you just need one glance the way this two stare into each other, the way they touch, you know it's this one love, you know they had found their soulmate, the second half like some people say. And there are this people designed to walk their path alone, be always rejected always heartbroken always thrown away. And it makes no sense, you have to accept it, either you're chosen to lead a tiring life with ups and downs, with hardships and flaws, but a person you can share it with, a person you can warm yourself up against at night, or you must learn to love one sided never allowing yourself to have hope, because this hope could destroy you, to only day dream, in the empty bed, to accept, always and each day accept, that there will never be someone... and you have only your love to give to yourself.
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