Sicheng: Day 25, The desert seemed endless, the few hotels on this side of the city so empty. Las Vegas was everything but not the glamour it was in movies during day time. Two parts of a city split by heat and sand. Still when darkness filled the space all the casino lights came, and the circus like atmosphere made me a little excited. I grabbed a camera and played tourist, while Yuta was smiling to himself, shaking his head when we were stopping every few steps.
"We need better clothes to get into a casino," I said.
"I'm taking you somewhere else," he said raising his brows.
The hotel with the mirror ceiling where I can see his other parts while doing wild things, my mind played crazy while he poked my cheek.
"Naughty babe," he muttered biting my lip.
What I like about California is no one really cares about gay couples, we can make out on the street no one will say a thing.
We kept walking till a carousel appeared on the side of the pavement.
"I want to go there," I said jumping up, yes something really cutely stupid.
Yuta laughed he paid for my ticket causing me to blush and tell him to hold the camera when I went into the queue with mostly kids. Yes Sicheng pierce less, you're making a fool of yourself. Still it was fun to climb into the little car and hold on tight while it gained speed. It went faster than expected and I screamed loud. I caught images of Yuta watching me with his adorable smile. My head was dizzy when I left and he supported me under my arm while I rested my forehead on his shoulder.
Yes he's so beautiful. His touch so warm, I wondered where he was leading me when we started to walk down the street.
We crossed a lot of zebras, moved along casinos and hotels till he opened a door and led me into a long hall with a star like red carpet. There were two guys dressed up as clowns at the end of it, next to a strangely looking couple.
"What's this place?" I asked.
"Yyyy..." Yuta went pale.
"What?" I asked smiling.
"I... you know Vegas gives people the opportunity to marry even for one night, so..." he was avoiding my glance. "I thought we could," he grabbed my hand dragging me towards the clowns.
"Hi, a little in love there?" asked one giving a flyer to us.
"More than in love," Yuta smiled shyly.
I was still speechless not really over the sudden shock. What, marry him here and now?
"Here's the address where you can cancel the wedding tomorrow if you like, and here the papers to fill out and this is the price of the ceremony," said one of the clowns placing a lot of papers on the table next to him.
Yuta knelt down and started to fill it in while I walked up and down the corridor thinking hard.
Why was it suddenly tearing something inside my stomach and throat. I loved him, I was sure about it. If with someone then with him. I leaned against a wall while he filled all the papers in.
"Sicheng, I need your signature," he turned to me and I shivered.
I hesitated but went down to them and scribbled something indecipherable where his finger was.
"Can I pay by card?" asked Yuta taking his wallet out and the clown nodded.
I felt so sick, I walked down to another door where the couple was let in by a pretty Mexican lady.
Yuta joined me in a few minutes he was tense.
"Gentlemen, please wait till the next ceremony ends, I'll call you," the lady eyed us up and closed the door in front of us.
I shivered when I leaned against a wall. Yuta stopped next to me his hand laned on my face his thumb gentle, when he caressed my cheek and lips.
"Babe, if you don't want me say it," he whispered and I trembled.
"It's not," I thought I'll burst out in tears.
It wasn't like in the movies no sparks just pain.
"I'm sorry I thought our love is so obvious a crazy thing like this... I'm sorry Sicheng... I'm stupid," he lowered his hand.
"I love you ok," I bit my lip.
"But not enough to want me as a pain in your ass all your life," whispered Yuta.
"Yuta stop ok!" I raised my voice. "What are you talking about?"
"I'll go to the boys and cancel," he looked towards the clowns.
And then it hit me, it hurt even more to make him leave, but none of this choices was ever right.
"Yuta!" I said grabbing his arm causing him to stop. "It's not that I don't want, it's just the here and now. It doesn't seem like the right place. I always imagined it to be special, on a white sandy beach with all the most important people as guests, so they can share our happiness," I bit my lip again.
Yuta looked at me puzzled.
"Why?" he whispered.
"Just.... that's how I wanted it but if you want it here and now it's ok, it's ok for me," I pulled him closer by his neck.
His lips were hot on my face.
"Sicheng it will be as you want it," he muttered. "Come," he took my hand pulling me down the corridor while I felt butterflies.
"They should give you the money back," I whispered when we passed the clowns.
"I don't think they will," he said smiling.
We bumped into a couple so drunk they barely kept their ground when we were leaving and I felt like inhaling deeper when we found ourselves in the cool desert night.
The moon was upside down on this side of the world but it seemed ok when I held Yuta's hand tight and he pulled me to him kissing my neck.
"So how do you want to spend the rest of the night?" he asked.
"With you," I looked him in the eyes, falling again.
I hoped he wasn't too upset about our misshapen nearly wedding.
Actually he has never proposed so, I started to laugh and he seemed stunned again.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing," I started to walk. "I want to try out more carousels," I smiled taking his hand.
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