Amy: Day 11, I wrote to Sicheng, he was making picnics with a view on the Eiffel Tower in Yuta's arms, of course, these two could be on the North Pole surrounded by polar bears still they would be the happiest. Oh Sicheng bothered me much, all this love, sticky happiness. It seemed impossible. Yuta was a human too, he had smelly socks and stuff. I made a lot of sightseeing with Renjun, he had studied a lot about the places history and we were happy to do excursions on our own without the talkative guide.
Renjun tried to brush my hand with his a few times, he was looking into my eyes a lot, he really tried his best and I smiled to him, nodded my head, allowed him to take my hand when we were walking down a dark path in a cave, allowed him to pay for dinner from his trip money, we took a few selfies together. He seemed happier, even our conversations get easier.
Still there was this awkward tension between us, the moment when I hid my hand in my jacket pocket when he let go and we entered the daylight at the end of the cave. Why wasn't my hand searching for his again?
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