Amy: Day 283, It was 1 minute past midnight when I parked the car in front of the lit up house, the address Hinyang has given me. I wasn't at ease with myself when I walked out getting to the front door then through it. I passed a lot of people mostly very young, the loud music was banging from the middle rooms, a house party like the ones Hinyang and Mark used to enjoy in high school.
I really needed to know, to see him once again to understand my own feelings, so I asked Hinyang if he has any idea where Mark could be tonight.
Armored in the knowledge Renjun had given me I wasn't afraid anymore, as each decision would be ok.
I moved in cautiously keeping behind taller guys to be here unnoticed, sneaking till I saw him, dressed up casually, I needed to double check to be sure if the boy with short black hair and board shoulders is the one I used to know.
Yes he was doing everything I didn't want him to do, a manly hairstyle, gym, I guessed he had his own plan of a revenge on me.
He was talking to a boy he has befriended at university and sipping a drink slowly. Yes right waste of time, I thought observing the back of his head and the hickeys on his neck from months ago became so alive. I guessed they would never ever leave at lest in this subtle metaphoric matter of love and heartbreak.
I took a breath and moved two steps back ready to sneak out as quietly as I came when I saw a girl walking up to him. I felt fire, my insides were struck by sudden pain.
She was beautiful, looked like a model or cheerleader.
"Hi," she said stopping next to him and offering him a hand he shook hesitantly.
His friend was eyeing her up and down with excitement.
"I've seen you around here a few times and you caught my eye," she said smiling wide.
I knew exactly how this will end with them disappearing to make out in a dark corner, so why was I here in a slow agony watching? To make sure I was right. To be heartbroken again.
"Would you like to dance, or have a nice walk under the stars?" she asked.
What stars it's raining girl, I thought.
Mark looked at her he biting his lips once as he took a breath his friend was bouncing at the tips of his toes from excitement if its was him, he would be begging the girl to leave with him.
Go ahead Mark you're f-f-fre... whatever.
"I'm sorry but there is someone," he said and the girl's smile fell.
What another one! I shouted in my mind.
"But I don't see her here you know she don't need to know," the girl sounded desperate.
"She's not here because she hates me," Mark bit his lips again. "But I love her, so it's complicated," he explained causing me to look towards the door to run away.
"So if it's complicated I can help you out," the girl tried again.
"No sorry i'm not interested my heart is focused, as she had called it once," he blushed smiling to himself.
"You're waisting an opportunity here!" he girl shouted angry then snapped with her fingers in front of his face turned around and left while his fried seemed to suffer a lot watching her go but Mark was still smiling to himself when the turned to the boy continuing the conversation.
He hasn't seen me that was for sure still he had told her, but its as ridiculous he couldn't have any hope left. Could I? Why were we both holding on to the pieces so desperately.
I wasn't thinking straight went I walked out of the shadow step by step approaching him. His friend saw me first he made a strange face what caused Mark to react and turn. His eyes widened and he went pale.
"I hasn't... pleases don't," he whispered.
But I walked straight to him and fell into is his arms resting my head on his shoulder. Wow this was refreshing it seemed like some never ending pain had suddenly stopped. Like a thunderstorm that as going on for months laid down leaving perfect silence. The missing disappeared everything was distant the people the noises it was like on a different planet where there was just his touch left. He was telling me something something I couldn't understand I just felt his hands gently caressing my back and arms.
So he stopped talking closing his arms around me and holding me in this silence.
"I've missed you so much," he said quietly and sounds came back.
And then I felt like breaking down completely.
"I should hate you and I really do," I said sobbing in his shoulder. "But I love you, I freaking love you, I always loved you since the first day you came to the interview," I was whispering unable to stop my words.
He hugged me tighter.
"I'm so sorry, I don't deserve your love," he said.
"But I love you you can't do anything against it," I bit his t-shirt to not to cry that much.
I never cared if all this people were watching us or no.
He smiled pressing his face deep into the crack of my neck.
"I love you ok I've never stopped," he said his lips wet on the skin of my neck. "I could kill myself for what I did, honestly."
"Shhhh," I said getting over my tears.
We were staying like this cuddling for ages till I moved my head from his shoulder and felt his fingers on my cheeks.
"Can you please forgive me and be my girlfriend again?" he asked pressing his nose to mine.
Could I?
"But I'm leaving today," I said quietly.
"Where?" his eyes were burning, the same eyes I was drowning in for so many times.
"To the other side of the country I'm moving out," I was whispering watching him.
"Give me half and hour to pack and I'm with you," he said smiling.
"Mark," I said turning from his face as yes I was falling again.
This boy.
"I could live with you on the moon the only thing that matters it's with you," he said with his usual sense of humor.
"You're so crazy," I felt like back in the old times when I shook my head resting my chin on his shoulder.
"So?" he asked poking my side playfully.
Hey I've never said you're forgiven.
"So what are you waiting for?" I asked burying my face in the fabric of his shirt.
ओह! यह छवि हमारे सामग्री दिशानिर्देशों का पालन नहीं करती है। प्रकाशन जारी रखने के लिए, कृपया इसे हटा दें या कोई भिन्न छवि अपलोड करें।
