Conversations With My Love (boyxboy)

44. Time To Have Fun (Part 1)

"Will you think that I'm crazy if I tell you that I think that Pierre is falling for me?"

"Worst, I will think that you have completely lose it and that you need mental help."

"That's not funny," I told Joshua, folding my arms over my chest. I was currently sitting on the floor of his bedroom as he played some game on his Nintendo in front of me.  "Joshua, please, listen to me seriously."

"I'm listening," he protested, though he did not look at me, "I just can't understand the purpose of this whole talk. Why would you think that Pierre wants to kiss you? Why would you think that he is falling for you?"

"Because there have been a lot of signs," I exclaimed like if it was obvious, "It all began since I went to have lunch at his place. I don't know why but from that moment, something was different or maybe things have always been different and I just didn't notice. Then I nearly kissed him...twice and the worst about this is that I'm pretty sure that he wanted it to happen, he wanted me to kiss him those two times."

"Don't go there," Joshua stopped me right away and I frowned. He paused his game to look at me, "Your hopes are getting way too high and the fall will be disastrous if you don't stop now. Hear my words, Pierre doesn't love you. He's not ready for that."

And he just resumed his game as naturally as ever. I gave him a look of disbelief.

"Excuse me but did I just hear what I think you said?" I asked him and he rolled his eyes, "Did I miss one episode? I thought that you, as my best friend, was supposed to support me in my love life."

"Oh, I support you," he affirmed me, "But I realized that one person needs to remain down to earth and that person is now me."

"I'm not going crazy," I made it clear to him, "Pierre is acting strange. I'm sure of it. I know him and really his actions don't match his words. Lately, he did unexpected things and when I tried to question him about it, he simply said that it's nothing when it's not nothing."

"Okay, I have enough," he declared and he placed his Nintendo away to give me all of his attention. "While you have been thinking about the possibility of Pierre loving you, I have been thinking of the possibility of him not loving you, like never. You're right, as your best friend I should support you in your love life but I also need to protect you from the hurt and that's exactly what I'm doing right now."

"So you don't think that Pierre and I will end up together?" I questioned him, incredulous and he sighed.

"No, that's not what I mean," he said and he explained himself, "Declan, you're someone incredible. You deserve better than a one-sided love for the rest of your life. It's good that you're giving Pierre his time to find out what he really wants but at some point, if he still can't decide, you need to say stop and let go of him, no matter how much it hurts you."  

"Don't you think that I have already thought of that?" I asked him and I did not let him time to reply. "I know all of that, Joshua. I thought of it multiple times and really at times, I thought of giving up because waiting like this is a pure torture to me. Though, now, I'm sure that there is something. I just need to make Pierre admit it." 

"You need to give him an ultimatum or something then," he told me and he seemed to think, "You need to make him understand that you won't be available forever, that a day will come where you will have to find someone who will give you what you want."

"That's not so easy."

"It is," he protested. "You need to put limits and Pierre needs to know about them or else, nothing is ever going to happen. I know that you love him and if he loves you back, it will be great but if he can't admit it to himself and accept it, nothing will work out and you will just get hurt."