Conversations With My Love (boyxboy)

70. Nightmare.

The clock on the wall of my bedroom was showing exactly midnight. 

The moonlight coming from my window was my only source of light in the room and instead of being soundly asleep, I was sitting on my bed, hugging my legs, as my eyes stared into space. My breathing was irregular and my body was trembling, not because I felt cold, I was actually sweating like crazy right now, but because I felt scared.  

A nightmare woke me up and it succeeded to paralyze me entirely with fear.

I didn't get nightmares often and even when I did have a bad dream, I would quickly erase it from my mind. They were never really that terrifying for me and I knew deep down that what haunted me during my sleep was not real. Though, the nightmare that I just got, I could remember every single detail of it and no matter how hard I was trying to convince myself that it was a simple nightmare and nothing more, I couldn't stop thinking that maybe it was all real.

But it had no right to be real.   

I immediately got out of bed and went towards my dresser to get myself some clothes. Like every night, I was only in my boxers so I quickly found myself a shirt and a pair of short, and put them on. My mind was troubled and I couldn't focus. My body moved on its own and before I even knew it, I was fully clothed and was walking out of my bedroom.  

The house was quiet and dark as I made my way downstairs but it wasn't surprising; it was late and everyone was probably sleeping right now. I nearly reached the front door without any problem when, suddenly, my name was said.

"Declan?"

I instantly stopped in my track and turned around to see Kenny much to my surprise. He was in his pajamas with what looked like a cup of tea in his hands. He seemed to have been to the kitchen. I guessed that not everyone was actually sleeping then. 

"Declan, what are you doing?" Kenny asked me in confusion as he took a few steps in my direction, "Where are you going?"

I didn't reply to him right away. I took a few seconds to process his words. 

"I need to see Pierre," I told him at last and he frowned, "I really need to see him."

I didn't wait for a reply and just turned around, and went straight for the door. I really needed to go but Kenny quickly came to me and grabbed my arm to stop me from going any further. 

"Declan, it's past midnight," he exclaimed at me in disbelief, pulling me back, "You can't go see Pierre now."

"No," I yanked my arm away from him and my back hit against the door. He stared at me completely lost as I added, "I have to talk to him, Kenny. I need to make sure that he's alright."     

"But why? What happened?" my little brother asked me with worry. 

"I-I had a nightmare," I replied to him and my voice was so low that I wasn't sure if he heard me right, "And I need to know if he's okay." 

"Wait, so you had a nightmare about Pierre?" I could tell that Kenny was still confused.

"Y-yeah."

"Tell me about it then," he advised me and I immediately shook my head to refuse. He sighed. "Declan, come on, you can't go see him at this time. If that nightmare is bothering you that much, talking about it will make you feel better," he assured me but I didn't want to do that. 

I simply couldn't say it out loud.

I didn't reply anything to Kenny and just turned around once again, and got out of the house. I didn't go really far though, and I somehow ended up sitting on the ground on the front porch. Kenny followed behind me and closed the door of the house. He then quietly sat down at my side.