Conversations With My Love (boyxboy)

53. Pierre's Explanation.

About one week ago, I was crying because Pierre pushed me away. I was hurting myself because he rejected me. I locked myself in my room because his words hurt me. I wanted to die because after everything that I did for him, in the end he still chose to be with someone else.

A few days, I got angry at him. I tried to hurt him. In a matter of days, I snapped at a few people. I let anger consume me and I concluded that I should live my life without worrying about the consequences. Joshua was right about me because I really wanted to do reckless and stupid things to destroy myself.

And yesterday, I told Pierre that we were over, that he was nothing for me anymore and that he should forget about me and about everything that we lived through. I was done with him. I was not really getting over him, I was just pushing him away in the far back of my mind and heart.

A lot of things happened lately and I did not think once that things would get better. I did not think that I would be happy again so I thought that there would be no point in being the Declan that I used to be. I did not think that I would laugh like I used to. I did not think that Pierre would ever love me one day. And I surely did not think that I would be kissing him tonight.

The alcohol in my system had taken control of me and I was not in my right mind to think rationally. I let my burning desire for Pierre take over. I had dragged him a little further away from the house and now he was pressed against a tree so that no one would see what we were shamefully doing. 

His tongue was playing with mine and I got his legs wrapped around my waist. The kiss was passionate and at the same time, we were both eager for more. We both did not seem to want it to end. The only time that we would pull away from each other would be to take back our breath.

There was no hesitance from him and that just made me want to kiss him more. My body was literally in heat and I must admit that I was in desperate need of more friction of our bodies. An idea suddenly crossed my mind and I started to rub myself against him. He let out a soft moan against my lips. That only made me feel more excited and soon, I felt my lower region become hard. I groaned. 

"Shit," I breathed out, still rubbing myself against him and he moaned once again. "If I don't stop now, I swear I'm going to take you against this tree." I pulled his shirt down, revealing his shoulder and I brought my lips to the naked skin to kiss him as my hand went to touch his butt.

"Okay, Declan stop," he spoke for the first time and I bit his shoulder. He let out a gasp, "Ah, we really need to stop. We can't-not now. We need to talk first. Just-oh my god." He bit his lip and flopped his head back against the tree as my hand went under his shirt to grab one of his nipples.

"What if I don't want to stop? What if I want to continue to kiss you?" I asked him and he made a weird noise as his breathing seemed to accelerate. I looked up at him with a smirk. "Who knows maybe I want more." I pulled on his nipple and he gasped once again before burying his face in my neck to muffle the noises that he was making.

"I will really like to continue kissing," he admitted and I was surprised, "But we really need to talk about all of this and I-" He stopped and pulled my hand out of his shirt. "I still have a girlfriend so right now I'm basically cheating on her."

"Way to ruin the fun," I told him and I let him place his feet back on the ground. I stepped away from him. Suddenly, I started feeling nauseous and I placed one hand on my mouth and the other on my stomach. I did not succeed to hold it in and soon, I was turning around to puke on the ground. I took out every last drop of alcohol that I consumed during the night and that was totally disgusting. "Damn it! Joshua will be happy to learn that I really ended up puking." 

"Want my handkerchief?" Pierre asked me, handing me the said handkerchief and I took it without hesitating to wipe my mouth. He quickly looked away from this scene. I heard him whisper, "God, we stopped kissing just in time."